The actress gets real about the responsibility she feels while raising two daughters to be "appropriate and empowered."
Drew Barrymore is opening up about intimacy. The 47-year-old actress and talk show host is elaborating on her recent comments about having no trouble abstaining from sex "for years" in a new blog post, getting candid about why she hasn't been intimate since her 2016 split from ex-husband Will Kopelman and the immense responsibility she feels as the mother of two daughters.
Responding to a fan's remark that Barrymore "hates sex," the talk show host clarified her feelings on the topic.
"I have very different feelings about intimacy than I did growing up," she writes. "I did not have role model parents and I engaged with people in grown up ways since a tender age! I was looking for companionship! Validation! Excitement! Pleasure! Hedonism! Fun! And adventures!! Now, because I can't get in the time machine and change my history, so I now choose to look at it through a positive lens, which is that I have lived! I lived a very rich, full life. However, after two kids and a separation from their father that has made me cautious, I have had the pleasure of shifting my focus when it comes to love for myself and my two daughters."
Barrymore is a mom to 10-year-old Olive and 8-year-old Frankie, whom she shares with Kopelman. The former couple announced their split in 2016, and Kopelman went on to wed Vogue director of fashion development Alexandra Michler last year.
Barrymore writes that getting back into a romantic relationship has not been her priority in recent years.
"Since entering life as a single mom, I have not been able to have an intimate relationship. I have had the honor and a pleasure to actually work on myself and learn what parenting is, again something I was not exactly clear on growing up and I’ve had many learning curves thrown my way," she confesses. "I’m also raising two daughters, so how we raise girls to be appropriate and empowered and to love themselves and to realize that we live in an age where the images and messages that they will see will also contradict what I have come to believe intimacy is! Intimacy is something that makes you feel good about yourself! I also talk about and have learned when something doesn’t make you feel good or it makes you feel bad about yourself, pay as much attention to that as what makes you feel great because there’s a lesson in there."
The star insists that she passes no judgement on others who jump into new relationships after heartbreak, saying, "I celebrate their journey!"
"I’m not a person who needs sex and has to go out there and engage with people on that level. I am someone who is deeply committed to fostering how young girls, my daughters, and myself as a woman, are supposed to function in this world! A relationship with a man has not been top of mind for me for a very long time," she writes.
"So for the record, I do not hate sex! I have just finally come to the epiphany that love and sex are simply not the same thing," Barrymore continues. "I searched my whole life for, which is to be a calm woman and not a bombastic party girl."
Barrymore may be embracing a new vibe in her life, but don't count out her weird side!
She jokes, "I’m so glad to be here now in my life. But don’t forget I’m a naughty monkey who is rebellious and weird and comedic and wacky and doesn’t judge others and really doesn’t want anyone highly involved in my choices when it comes to this vulnerable subject but because I’ve been an open book my whole life but here we are!"
The 50 First Dates star may not be focused on finding romance, but she is still on a dating app. During an episode of The Drew Barrymore Show earlier this month, she asked for guests Tony Dokoupil and Nate Burleson's opinion on the photo she uses, and they sang her praises.
"I'm thunder swiping right," Burleson said. In the selfie, Barrymore looks flawless with no makeup as she smiles standing next to her shower.
And last month, she got emotional as her friend -- and ex boyfriend -- Justin Long made an appearance on the talk show. The two dated on and off from 2007 to 2010.
"I love that we maintained our love, because, I know from my end, it will never go anywhere," Long said. "I’ll love you always. I’m glad we’re still able to have that."
Barrymore responded by shedding some tears and embracing the actor with a hug. “I will always love you so much,” she told him. “You are so important to me. I feel like we’ve been through so much together, too. I feel like, when we used to talk and Facetime, I was always like, ‘You know I've really grown up, Justin.’ I always wanted to prove to you what a different person I was from when we dated."
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