Katie opened up about her spilt from Tom in the latest episode of her 'You’re Gonna Love Me' podcast.
Katie Maloney-Schwartz is opening up about her unexpected split from Tom Schwartz. In a new episode of her podcast, You're Gonna Love Me With Katie Maloney, the Vanderpump Rules star explained the reason she decided to walk away from their relationship after 12 years.
"There wasn't some kind of crazy incident that happened there, wasn't some crazy fight that resulted in this," Katie began, clearing the air about any speculation as to what caused their split. "And again, it was my decision, which was probably the hardest and most painful decision I've ever had to make."
Katie went to explain that she had a voice inside her that she just couldn't ignore, and ultimately realized she was no longer happy in her marriage.
"The best, and only way I can describe it, is just like waking up inside of my life and having this. The voice that just became louder and louder, and just events in my life and in our relationship coming into focus and feeling the weight of them on me," she continued. "I wanted to deny them. I wanted to push them out of my head because we have built a life together and he was my person, and I wanted to be with him forever, but ultimately I just wasn't happy."
While she called it "the hardest thing to accept," Katie shared that over time, by putting all the focus on Tom and their relationship, she realized she was no longer prioritizing herself or her happiness.
"I had really prioritized Tom and our relationship and our future and wanted to plan for that so badly, but I didn't often prioritize myself or
my happiness and that was really what was weighing on me. And that's when I realized that, even though we did have so much fun, there was so many happy moments even, you know, day to day. I love being with him, but ultimately I was just unfulfilled."
While the 35-year-old reality TV said it's been "scary" to think about the future, she feels "very strongly" that she's doing the right thing.
The Vanderpump Rules co-stars announced their decision to get divorced on March 15. Katie and Tom each took to Instagram to share the news, which came amid swirling rumors that they'd split up after several sightings of Maloney without her ring.
"I never thought I would have to make an announcement like this. But I feel it's important that I'm open about my life with you," Katie shared in a statement posted last Tuesday afternoon. "After 12 years on an adventure through life together, Tom and I are ending our marriage."
"This ending is not met with resentment or animosity, no sides to choose. We have deep admiration for one another that will always remain and we cherish our friendship," she continued. "Although we may be on different paths we will continue to love and support one another's happiness."
Tom posted as well, sharing a lengthy, candid statement in which he said he was unwilling to yet declare that they were getting divorced, but rather are separating, because the reality of the situation hurt too much.
"Well this sucks. How am I supposed to capture 12 years of love in a f**kin canned Instagram caption. What picture am I supposed to use? Is there a go-to break up font?" the 39-year-old bar owner began, sharing a slideshow of photos of he and Katie over the years. "Wanted to clear the air on some rumors floating around. Katie & I are separating. I'm not ready to use the 'D' word bc it's too painful. Yes my heart aches but I'll be ok. Not looking to evoke any sympathy here. I'm not the victim. Not gonna write too sad a song. Fully respect Katie's decision and we've had healthy, productive conversations about it."
Tom wrote that it would be "far sadder if she decided to stay with me whilst not happy."
"After 9 years on a reality TV show it feels a little tone [deaf] to say 'please respect our privacy' (especially while posting this) so instead I'll ask to please be kind," he continued. "I don't fault you for any snap judgement. If I was watching us on VPR for the last 9 years, I'd be making them too. Perception gets skewed bc of seeing snippets of our lives on the show, but I'm telling you we had some of the most blissful, romantic, fun times humanely possible over the course of our relationship."
Tom went on to share that Katie "taught me so much about love and being a better partner," and now that they are calling it quits, "It's hard not to feel like a statistic. Another failed marriage."
However, he said he doesn't look at their marriage as a failure, sharing, "As sad as I am, still happy to say there's no anger or bitterness. Zero. Still so much love for you @musickillskate. And your family. I don't think we were ever a model couple. Maybe we are model divorcees. A dubious title I suppose."
Katie and Tom originally wed in 2016, in a televised ceremony, after several years of dating. However, allegedly due to lost paperwork, the union wasn't legally binding. The couple officially and legally tied the knot in 2019.
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