The EGOT winner gets candid about his relationship with his wife, Chrissy Teigen.
John Legend is being completely honest about the highs and lows in his relationship with Chrissy Teigen. The "All of Me" singer is a guest on the latest episode of the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast where he got candid about his evolving relationship with his wife.
Legend, 43, and Teigen, 36, tied the knot in 2013, and the GRAMMY-winning superstar shared that at the start of their relationship, he wasn’t ready to be the man that she needed him to be.
"I think I was more selfish then,” he said about the early days of their romance. "I wasn’t a great partner at the beginning of our relationship. Even though I was very into her and very excited to be with her. I was still selfish. I was in my mid 20s, still not ready to fully be the committed partner that I am now."
Legend shared that with time, and working on himself, he was able to fully become the man that he is today.
"Once you really figure out that you love someone and you really love so much about them and you really want to make it work with that person, like you have to decide, I'm going to do the things that I need to do to be a good partner in this relationship," he said. "And I've just grown as a person 'cause of that too. When you stop being so selfish when you think about not only the joy you get from a situation and the pleasure you get from it, but you also think about your responsibly and your commitment in that situation. I think you just grow, and you mature. I think part of it is it's just a matter of time. You need time to become that person you want to be."
The pair’s evolving love was the inspiration behind Legend's song, "I Don’t Love You Like I Used To." The track, Legend said, is about love not being the same with your person, and changing for the better.
"When we first met, we were like, very attracted to each other, our chemistry was great, but that level of attraction is more like infatuation at the beginning of a relationship," he said. "And love when it is able to stand the test of time, it has to be deeper and more real than that. We've been through enough together where it's really fortified us and made us stronger. Those tests have made us grow together and realize things about each other that we didn't know. And going through all of that, to be able to write and sing a song called 'I Don’t Love You Like I Used To.' It’s different now but it’s better."
One of the couple’s most challenging moments came when they lost their son, Jack, in 2020. Legend, who wrote the song "Pieces" about his and Teigen's grief, said that one of the most important lessons came with figuring out how to live together with their unimaginable anguish over the loss of their son.
"Like I said with Chrissy, I've seen so much growth through our grief and through our tragedy," he told Shetty. "It's always going to be a part of who we are and I’m fine with that. It’s part of who we are. We carry it with us and it’s OK."
Legend -- who is currently expecting another child with Teigen -- noted that having their children, Luna, 6, and Miles, 4, really helped them work through the loss, and inspired them to keep going as a family.
“You also have to commit to working through pain, and I think that we both committed to doing it,” he said. “Like doing the work that we needed to do to get through it. And I think having, already had two kids together was definitely helpful because they just bring so much joy into our lives and laughter and fun and they're great focus for our energy. And even when you’re going through deep grief on losing a pregnancy you still have these two beautiful babies that you love, and I think that was certainly helpful.”
The EGOT winner said that with time, his and Teigen's relationship has faced highs and lows, and seeing how his wife has reacted in each situation, really helped his love for her to evolve and change for the best.
"I've just learned so much about her personality, how she reacts to stress, how she reacts to life, how she can find a joke even in like the craziest, even in grief, she’s able to find humor," he said. “I think you see so many things about your partner as you grow together and as you experience adversity together and what I've seen from her just made me love her more and value her more. I think she’s cooler now than I ever thought she was. I just really have seen her in all kinds of situations. I just value her more, and in awe of her more than I ever have been."
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