Vanessa in the past has shared she once issued Nick an ultimatum herself.
Vanessa Lachey broke down in tears while discussing how therapy helped her become a better partner to husband Nick Lachey. The emotional display came during season 2, episode 6 ("The Changeover") of Netflix's The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On, when the show's co-host shared with the four remaining couples why it's so important for a relationship to not only lean on your partner but also trust them.
The NCIS: Hawaii star and her husband were intently listening to Riah explain why she didn't get the full trial marriage experience with James, who ultimately revealed he couldn't give it his all because he didn't know how to be vulnerable and be open about a painful childhood experience that spilled over into his young adult life.
After he apologized to her, Riah told James she knows he's been through a lot, but that if he were to one day let go of that experience or at least be open about it with his partner, he'd be an amazing person. It's right after that when Vanessa opened up about how therapy allowed her to not only learn more about her husband, but also trust him with issues hindering their relationship.
"Nick and I have been together for 16 years and we know each other -- married for 11 -- but it's so funny that for some reason we don't learn more about each other until we're in a therapy session," she shared. "You don't need to go into this, but it messes with your relationship."
At this point, Vanessa starts fighting back tears.
"And the reason why I'm choking up is because I've had to get through so much s**t to be the best woman for him. Every single issue we had with every issue I brought up," she continued before apologizing for choking up. "And to find that person that I can trust and that can carry me though is what made us unstoppable. When you find that person, you got to talk to her. It's so freeing to tell everything to them and then still be there to pick you up. It's really beautiful. And if they don't -- which I've had other guys who know that -- then they're not the guy I married."
Vanessa and Nick, who are also the hosts of Netflix's Love Is Blind, have not been shy about sharing the ups and downs of their relationship. In fact, during an earlier episode this season, Vanessa told the Ultimatum cast that she's the one who gave Nick an ultimatum. She spoke about it while on Live With Kelly and Ryan last year, telling Ryan Seacrest that, after dating for five years, she asked Nick if they're ever going to get serious.
"I always said I was going to be that girl that would never give a man an ultimatum," Vanessa said at the time.
But after five years, she had to know.
"We dated for five years," she continued. "So, I finally said, 'What are we doing?'"
Earlier this year, the happy couple celebrated their 12th wedding anniversary, and last September, they shared with ET the secret to maintaining wedded bliss after all these years.
"You need to communicate. You need to be responsible for your actions, you can't just point a finger. But also, I think, on the flip side, you need to applaud that person when they do something beautiful and right," Vanessa shared.
Vanessa also revealed the one piece of advice she received from her therapist that she found so helpful.
"[Our therapist] talks about making love deposits," she said. "And you can't just take. You can't just withdraw. You gotta make a deposit."
Season 2 of The Ultimatum is streaming now on Netflix.
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