'My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone.'
Vanessa Bryant has "been reluctant" to share how she's feeling after the death of her husband, Kobe Bryant, and their 13-year-old daughter, Gianna.
But on Monday, Vanessa shared a video with her Instagram followers of the late NBA star coaching his daughter's basketball team. The footage shows just how talented Gianna was at the sport and the bond she had with her dad. There are several moments where the father-daughter duo are hugging and posing for pics together.
In the heartbreaking caption, Vanessa was very candid about her emotional state. "My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone. I can’t process both at the same time," she wrote. "It’s like I’m trying to process Kobe being gone but my body refuses to accept my Gigi will never come back to me. It feels wrong."
The post continued, "Why should I be able to wake up another day when my baby girl isn’t being able to have that opportunity?! I’m so mad. She had so much life to live."
Vanessa, 37, added that she knows that through her mourning, she needs to be strong for her other three daughters. "Mad I’m not with Kobe and Gigi but thankful I’m here with Natalia, Bianka and Capri," she wrote. "I know what I’m feeling is normal. It’s part of the grieving process. I just wanted to share in case there’s anyone out there that’s experienced a loss like this."
She concluded, "God I wish they were here and this nightmare would be over. Praying for all of the victims of this horrible tragedy. Please continue to pray for all."
Kobe, 41, and Gianna died in a helicopter accident in Calabasas, California, last month along with seven others.
Prior to Vanessa's return to social media, a source close to the Bryant family told ET that she was "completely shocked and heartbroken but is trying to stay as strong as she can in front of her children."
"Vanessa married Kobe when she was 18 and never expected to live her life without him, and that is going to take time," the source said. "She has been surrounded by her family and friends but she feels almost numb to everything. She is thankful for the outpouring of love her and her family has received and will respond when she’s ready. Right now she’s taking time to be with her girls."
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