The former reality star made the confession on her podcast, 'Rachel Goes Rogue.'
Vanderpump Rules alum Rachel Leviss is addressing criticism from fans regarding her seemingly lighthearted demeanor while filming the Bravo reality show amid drama in her life.
The 29-year-old former reality star invited psychologist Dr. Hillary Goldsher onto her iHeartRadio podcast, Rachel Goes Rogue, to delve into her behavior that sparked controversy amid Vanderpump Rules fans.
"Listening back, hearing me laugh about, especially the Graham situation for me, like that's not a funny thing, and I want to know why," Leviss explained, referencing the custody battle she had over her dog with ex-fiancé James Kennedy. "Like, what is this thing that my body does without me even knowing?"
She expressed excitement about having a professional explain why this behavior is happening, emphasizing that it's not normal. Leviss acknowledged that the average person doesn't smile through their most painful traumatic memories.
Leviss also clarified misconceptions about her approach to serious issues, including Scandoval, a term used to describe her affair with Vanderpump Rules star Tom Sandoval while he was still dating Ariana Madix.
"As I'm describing these things and recounting these memories, I don't think it's funny and I don't enjoy it," she noted. "The messaging maybe [is] getting lost a little bit."
Leviss shared insights gained from her time at a trauma therapy center, mentioning the concept of a "wall of pleasant" as a protective mechanism that hinders deeper connections with others.
Furthermore, Leviss disclosed her decision to take a break from dating for nearly a year, emphasizing a focus on self-discovery and emotional well-being.
"I'm not dating for a year, and in doing that, I'm just focusing on myself. And after this talk, focusing on my emotions that come up for me. Like what are my own needs that I need met? And not adding an additional person into the equation, so that it is just focused on me and other people as well my friends and family and the people that are in my inner circle that are safe friends," she shared.
This decision follows her involvement in the aftermath of Sandoval's split from Madix, his then-girlfriend of nine years, after she learned of his affair with Leviss.
Leviss has been using her podcast and social media platform to reflect on her past decisions and move forward. In an Instagram post before the new year, she vowed that 2024 would be an "epic" year, expressing gratitude for the support she received during a challenging 2023.
"As we set intentions into the new year, I vow to be a better friend to the ones close in my life," Leviss wrote. "Eternally grateful for a second chance. Here’s to an epic 2024!"
At last week's Hollywood premiere of Vanderpump Rules season 11, 40-year-old Sandoval spoke with ET's Brice Sander about how his mentality has evolved since last season.
"The Tom that was here [last time] was a dude lost in a cyclone," Sandoval said. "Somebody who was just lost in the ocean, barely hanging on to an old wooden door like in the [end of] Titanic. Literally just not in control. No idea what the hell's going on."
"Going through that has really helped me put in perspective things that are really important," he said. "[It] helped me grow, as far as prioritizing certain things. And [it] really just put me to the test to see what I'm made of."
Coming back to shoot season 11 amid the fallout of Scandoval also led to some tension between himself and other castmates. Sandoval told ET that "everyone" gave him a hard time "in very different ways."
While Sandoval does return to VPR for a new season, Leviss declined to come back and is focusing on her podcast instead.
Vanderpump Rules season 11 is set to premiere on Tuesday, Jan. 30 at 8 p.m. ET on Bravo.
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