Bertinelli and Van Halen began dating in 1980, before getting married eight months later.
Valerie Bertinelli is speaking out about the tumultuous aspects of her marriage to legendary musician and late rock icon Eddie Van Halen.
The 64-year-old recently sat down to watch her son, Wolfgang Van Halen’s, latest episode of Behind the Music on Paramount+, where he delved into his father's life and career.
Sharing her raw emotions in an Instagram video, Bertinelli confessed, "It was not easy. I’d stopped it many times because it was just too brutal to watch for many reasons."
She elaborated on the difficulties, citing the pain of witnessing her son's anguish, grappling with her own perceived parenting shortcomings, and confronting the stark reality of her relationship with Eddie Van Halen. "Seeing what I had turned of Ed’s and my relationship — into some sort of fantasy, soulmate recreation of history," she lamented.
The couple, who married in 1981 when Bertinelli was 21 and Van Halen was 26, navigated more than two decades together before separating in 2001 and finalizing their divorce in 2007. Their union produced their beloved son, Wolfgang, now 33.
Bertinelli acknowledged that their relationship deteriorated quickly due to Van Halen's struggles with substance abuse and infidelity.
"Nothing that makes you feel loved and wanted and cared for. Nothing that would scream soulmate, that’s for sure," she expressed.
She continued, visibly emotional, "But after Ed died, I was more than willing to put myself in the grieving widow category for a man that I hadn’t lived with for 20 years."
Nevertheless, Bertinelli expressed gratitude for the entirety of their journey, recognizing that it brought them their beloved son.
In 2022, the actress touched on her emotional relationship and marriage to the late rock star, who died in 2020, in her memoir, Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I Am Today. The process of digging into her past, she told ET, incorporated "a lot of tears" but was also "very cathartic."
"I was able to really speak to it and not shove all of the grief down. I am so used to shoving all of my feelings down and not feeling them and using food so I wouldn't have to deal with my feelings," Bertinelli explained. "And I think it was extremely cathartic. I would advise it to anybody, if you are going through a really strong feeling, write it down. It really, really does help."
Bertinelli and Van Halen began dating in 1980, before getting married eight months later. They welcomed son Wolfgang in 1991. In 2005, the actress filed for divorce, four years after separating. Over the years, Bertinelli has admitted that the Van Halen co-founder was her soulmate.
"I think it is OK to speak in regrets. Regrets, like mistakes, is how we learn. I have plenty of regrets. I wish I could have spent more time with Ed. I think you have more than one soulmate. I think souls come here to learn and grow with each other, so I think there is a familiarity with certain people that was like, 'I get this person' and I think that is part of what a soulmate is," she explained. "But I think with Ed, it was something really much deeper and I think our love turned into something more about soul love."
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