'Bachelor in Paradise': Josh Murray Slams Ex Andi Dorfman's Tell-All As 'Ludicrous', Goes Head-to-Head With Ni

Plus, Murray and Nick Viall battle for the same woman -- again!

Season three of Bachelor in Paradise gave us its second episode on Monday night and included over an hour of television without Chad Johnson! That meant we actually got to see people making love connections, fail at making love connections and working out shirtless on the beach (a.k.a. all our favorite things.) Plus, of course – DRAMA!

WATCH: Chad Johnson on His 'Bachelor in Paradise' Debut: 'I Regret Everything' 

The Big Takeaway

The most gab-worthy moment of Monday night was the return of a longstanding Bachelor Nation feud: Josh Murray vs. Nick Viall. They once battled over Andi Dorfman, and on Monday, the pair went head-to-head over a different A: Amanda Stanton. Two-hour story short: Nick was into Amanda (from Ben Higgins’ season) and took her on a date. They were connecting, but then – enter self-proclaimed “lion” Josh Murray (note: Nick is the “sheep”).

Before he even set foot on the sand, Josh proclaimed in no uncertain terms that he was there for the. right. REASONS! "I want to find a wife more than anything,” Murray said. "I believe in the process … I’m very, very open to anything that happens here." The ladies were all about handsome Josh, and he connected with Amanda over a pretty sad/unexpected conversation about his dog’s cancer. Josh gave Amanda his date card, they sailed off (literally) into the sunset and proceeded to stay glued to each other’s mouths for the rest of the episode. Nick confronted Josh about (again) stealing his girl, and Josh explained to silly old Nick that “God handles everything.”

But the most interesting part of the whole encounter? Dorfman’s tell-all book came up, and Josh didn't hold back! He claimed his ex's book isn’t so much an autobiography as a work of fiction, dubbing the former Bachelorette’s stories “not true at all ... it's a fictional story. There's stuff that's so ludicrous." Nick, on the other hand, owned that at least “some” of what’s in the book about him is true – and said, “Some of the stuff that is written about Josh is pretty aggressive and a little disturbing.” Josh’s explanation for what went wrong with Andi? “We had very, very different values and we're just very different in a lot of different ways.” #Different

WATCH: Andi Dorfman Reveals 'Bachelorette' Fantasy Suite Secrets!

The Confusing Couple

Speaking of different takes: cue Carly and Evan! These two
could not be on more different pages in the book of Paradise. Evan was
ALL about Carly, but Carly wanted nothing to do with Evan! Exhibit A: Evan
tells the cameras, “She’s amazing.” Carly’s view? “He gives me erectile
dysfunction.”  

Still, this is Bachelor Nation – so let’s force an awkward date. Evan’s stoked for a night out with Carly: “I’m really excited!” Carly isn’t mincing words: “No part of me is excited.” For their date, the two are asked to break a Guinness World Record for eating a habanero, then locking lips with another human. Props to whatever producer came up with this, and a shout-out to all the 90s kids out there because at the end of Carly and Evan’s (literally) spicy kiss they pulled their melted faces off each other and left a lengthy string of spit behind -- Cruel Intentions style. Except it was way less sexy -- and became WAY more messy -- when Carly then threw up. The things we do for love!

The Bait-and-Switch?

All's well that ends well in a Chad-free episode of Paradise,
right? Well, don’t be so sure. Remember: last week’s teaser showed the infamous
Chad returning to the Paradise pad, so I’m predicting we’ll see him
again Tuesday night. This is a Chad’s world, and it wouldn’t be nothing without
a….Chad.