'Cyber bullying existed then and it does now worse than ever,' the actress wrote on Instagram.
Tori Spelling is sharing how receiving hurtful comments about her looks affected her self image. In an Instagram post on Monday, the 47-year-old actress revealed that she used to "hate" her eyes because of negative comments that were made when she starred on Beverly Hills, 90210 from 1990 to 2000.
"When I started 90210 at 16 I was filled with low self confidence. Then, internet trolls (yep we had them back then too!) called me frog and bug eyed," she recalled. "Being put under a microscope as a young girl in her formative years was hard. I spent years begging makeup artists on my shows and movies to please try to make my eyes look smaller. I would cry over my looks in the makeup trailer chair."
It wasn't just her eyes that bothered her, though, rather it was her whole face.
"Many people ask why I only show one side of my face. Some write hurtful things. Yes, it is a choice. My choice. Because, a vulnerable innocent excited girl showed all of her face at 16 and was eaten alive," Spelling explained. "Choices about my looks were made for me by nameless and faceless accounts. Words can’t be unread. Cyber bullying existed then and it does now worse than ever."
"So, every time one of you ask me why I don’t look straight on in photos and videos know why I make that choice," she continued. "Years of hurtful comments that I don’t even want to share to give them energy. Way worse than bug or frog eyes."
Spelling's viewpoint on her eyes began changing in 1997 when she starred in Scream 2 and covered Rolling Stone in promotion of the film.
"I didn’t start to realize what an asset my eyes were till I did Scream 2 and the cover of Rolling Stone reenacting the iconic shower scene from Psycho. My eyes made that photo," she wrote. "They showed the emotion I was 'feeling in my soul' in that picture."
How Spelling felt about herself and her eyes after viewing that cover spoke directly to something her late dad, famed producer Aaron Spelling, used to say.
"My Dad always said 'Your eyes are the windows to your soul'... I’ve never forgotten that," she wrote. "... I’ve carried that motto thru [sic] my life. I always look people in the eyes. I hold their gaze always. I never look away. I’ve taught my kids to always show people respect and look them in the eyes when they are talking to them."
Spelling -- whose post included a photo of her face shot from below, a pic from her 90210 days and her Rolling Stone cover -- concluded her message by urging people to be kind online.
"Just remember next time that you go to comment on someone’s account regarding their face or body or choices, you don’t know them. They don’t know you. But, their soul will remember that unkind comment. It’ll be imprinted on them," she wrote. "Our memories can’t remember physical pain but we do remember emotional, verbal, and written pain. That said. Here’s me. Straight on. I love my eyes now. They make me uniquely me."
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