Charity broke down all the drama to come in an interview with ET.
Charity Lawson is breaking down all of the drama to come on The Bachelorette. At the conclusion of Monday's season 20 premiere, fans got a peek at the rest of Charity's journey for love, and it's safe to say it will be a wild ride.
"I'm here to find a husband, someone who's truly going to show up, love me, and be there for me. I've never had that," Charity shares at the start of the preview, before footage shows her bungee jumping, spending time on the beach, and jet skiing with her suitors, as well as getting a visit from Gabby Windey and Rachel Recchia.
Charity's men are clearly smitten with her, with one guy calling her the "whole package," and another praising her as "such an empathetic, passionate woman."
"I have such a great group of guys," she says. "They all bring something different to the table. I see myself with each of them. In past relationships I've sacrificed my own happiness, but not anymore."
Particular attention seems to be paid to Tanner, whom Charity says she's "on cloud nine" with, and Joey, whom she says she feels "so seen around."
Multiple men profess their love for Charity in the preview, which causes some of the main drama of the season.
"Everything that I've prayed for is right in front of me. I am falling in love, but it's with more than one person," Charity says through sobs. "I just don't know what I'm going to do."
While speaking to ET, Charity said that "falling in love with multiple people is something I did not see myself doing, and it's one of those things you can't fully ever prepare for."
"I truly thought it was gonna be just an easy [decision], like, 'All right, this is it. This is my person.' But whew, no," she said. "... To navigate that, I did a lot of like journaling. I really had to. My thoughts in my brain were just going a million miles. I had to just make sense of them, write it out on paper."
Charity admits she's "losing my mind" at one point, as the men combat disrespect and jealousy. One man irks Charity so much that she tells him, "You're at a point where you're pissing me off. Your rose is on the chest, but who's to say I can't clip that s**t off?"
That moment, Charity told ET, was a way to show her strength as the season's lead.
"That whole scene of a rose being on chest and I'm not afraid to take it back. Listen, I'm the one who gave it to you, I can also take it back," she said, before teasing who may be at the center of that particular drama.
"You see it early on in night one. I think it's kind of this little beginning feud between Aaron B., Sean, and Brayden," she said, "so that kind of just further enhances as the season goes on and things come to a head."
Then there's first impression rose winner Brayden, whom the men call "toxic" and claim isn't ready for an engagement. One suitor even yells at a retreating Brayden, "You're not a man!" before likening him to "a worm, a gnat."
Charity told ET that she took the men's warnings about Brayden "immediately."
"I did not want to have this approach of where I snoop and ask guys, 'What's going on in the house?' But when they bring it to me, that's when I know [that] it's of some sort of magnitude or it's of concern," she said. "Hearing that from guys in the house was obviously frustrating. I was like, 'You know what? That's alright let's get down to business'… But yeah, [it was] definitely frustrating and a little disappointing to say the least to hear those things, especially when you're forming connections with people and you feel like what you have is something that's solid."
For Charity, being a child and family therapist helps her handle herself in tough moments like those.
"This is where my skills as a therapist come into play," she said. "'Cause it's like, 'OK, Charity you're hearing this information.' As human you feel... like, 'Oh my god, I'm angry. What's happening?' But I have to regulate my emotions in the moment, so I'm like, 'All right, let's calm back down and then let's formulate a game plan of how we want to approach this.'"
According to the preview, everything comes to a head the week before the potential proposal when Charity cries to one of her final suitors, "We are a week away from you being on one knee and you don't even know what you want."
That situation, Charity told ET, was "very disappointing."
"It's one of those things where I pride myself a lot this season of just being really transparent with the men and I continue to reiterate my intentions and I just hope that they do the same, but we see that that's not really the case," she said. "But also, as you approach towards the end there's a lot of fluctuating emotions, and I think things really get real for people, so while I respect it, I also don't 'cause I feel like I could've been told certain things a lot earlier, but that's alright. It's all in the game of love."
As the preview shows, "heartbroken" Charity must carry on, even as she laments, "It's not fair. This isn't right."
"This whole journey has been extremely hard, but I am madly in love," she says. "It's terrifying because I am so fearful of sending my person home. You are not supposed to say goodbye to somebody you love."
Possibly sending the wrong person home is something that "terrified" Charity.
"I think that's what made every single row ceremony for me just so difficult. It's very hard," she told ET. "... Rose ceremonies were difficult for that reason, but also, it's like, 'Gosh, I just hope what I'm feeling in this moment is correct.' That's something that I had to learn. This season was truly just following my intuition. I will say, it did not steer me wrong."
As for what else Charity can tease about the season that wasn't shown in the preview, she said, "You're gonna see different sides of me that you didn't see if you tuned in last season. But if this is your first time watching, be prepared for a well-rounded Bachelorette, one that's full of love, full of sass, full of humor. Lots of personality will shine through."
"But ultimately, as much as we love the drama, let's not forget why we're here, which is love," she added. "So, whether that's through one conversation or 17 conversations, you will see it showcased in so many different ways. I keep it real. That's the thing you will see now. Nothing but realness this season, so buckle up for a wild ride. I'm very excited."
That wild ride, Charity said, really gets going the week of the Fantasy Suites.
"It's definitely gonna pick up some heat around Fantasy Suite week," she teased. "That whole week, and then there on after... Just expect it all truly."
And while she wouldn't reveal if she's engaged now that the show's wrapped filming, she did confess, "I'm happy with how the season turns out... I'm very proud of myself."
Watch Charity Lawson's journey for love on season 20 of The Bachelorette, which airs Mondays on ABC. Stay up to date on all the drama by following along with ET's coverage of the series.
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