The heartthrob appears in the new issue of 'Rolling Stone' magazine.
Shawn Mendes has no hard feelings when it comes to his time with Hailey Baldwin. The 20-year-old musician attended this year’s Met Gala with the 22-year-old model, and the pair were rumored to be dating. Months later, she was engaged and then married to Justin Bieber.
Though Mendes assured fans that they were “just friends” at the time, he admits in his new Rolling Stone profile that they were a bit more than that.
"I don’t even wanna put a title on it. I think it was more of a zone of limbo,” he says of his relationship with Baldwin.
She later unfollowed the “Stitches” singer on Instagram and is now married to Bieber.
"I get it, you know. I texted Hailey, ‘Congratulations,’ and I really am happy for them,” Mendes says of the newlyweds. "She’s still one of the f**king coolest people ever -- she’s not just a beautiful person visually, but she’s one of the most beautiful hearts I’ve ever met."
According to the Rolling Stone writer, Mendes appears to want to say more on the matter, before adding, "I think I’m an idiot to not, you know…But you can’t control your heart."
The young heartthrob’s love life has been an ongoing topic in the press, especially from those fans who like to speculate about his sexuality. Mendes says this has given him plenty of anxiety.
"In the back of my heart, I feel like I need to go be seen with someone — like a girl — in public, to prove to people that I’m not gay,” he says. "Even though in my heart I know that it’s not a bad thing. There’s still a piece of me that thinks that. And I hate that side of me.”
He recalls a photo his friend, Taylor Swift, posted of him wearing sparkly eye shadow, saying that he woke up in a panic after giving her permission to share the image.
"I felt sick. I was like, ‘F**k, why did let her post that?’” he notes. "I just fed the fire that I’m terrified of."
Mendes is particularly annoyed by the constant questioning, considering it can be a very sensitive subject for many people.
"I thought, ‘You f**king guys are so lucky I’m not actually gay and terrified of coming out.’ That’s something that kills people,” he confides. "That’s how sensitive it is. Do you like the songs? Do you like me? Who cares if I’m gay?”
After the release of the candid interview on Monday, Mendes took to Twitter to express his slight disappointment for how he came across in the piece "Of course I have my insecurities and struggles but that’s just one part of me. Sometimes the positive side of a story doesn’t always get fully told and I wish it had here," he wrote. "I love what i do and I love you guys so much."
For more from Mendes, watch the clip below:
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