The 'Only Murders in the Building' star spoke candidly about the effects her medicine had on her life.
Selena Gomez is getting candid about the effects the bipolar medication had on her body. In an interview with Rolling Stone, the Only Murders in the Building star shares that following her diagnosis, she was put on various medications that took a toll on her overall health and may impact her ability to have children.
The “Look at Her Now” singer says that before she was diagnosed, she experienced bouts of psychosis, and after spending time in various treatment centers, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and given various medications.
Explaining that she is worried about her ability to conceive due to the bipolar medication she is on Gomez said, "That's a very big, big, present thing in my life," noting, "However I'm meant to have them, I will."
Despite fears of infertility, Gomez explained that finding the right treatment for her bipolar disorder became essential and as a result of all the trial and error, the Rare founder says she lost herself. "It was just that I was gone," she shares. "There was no part of me that was there anymore.”
Gomez says that she eventually found a doctor who helped her find meds that worked and she slowly began to feel like herself again.
"He really guided me," the Rare Beauty founder says. "But I had to detox, essentially, from the medications I was on. I had to learn how to remember certain words. I would forget where I was when we were talking. It took a lot of hard work for me to (a) accept that I was bipolar, but (b) learn how to deal with it because it wasn’t going to go away."
Gomez, who is prepping for the release of her documentary, My Mind & Me, shares that she has now come to terms with living with her mental illness and lupus -- and has found the silver lining.
"I don’t have another reinvention story," she reveals. "I’m 30, and I’m going to go through moments in my life."
She adds, "I remind myself that I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the psychotic break, if it wasn’t for my lupus, if it wasn’t for my diagnosis. I think I would just probably be another annoying entity that just wants to wear nice clothes all the time. I’m depressed thinking about who I would be."
Gomez’s journey of coming into her womanhood while working through her mental health, body issues and lupus is documented in her upcoming Apple TV+ documentary. On Wednesday, the "Lose You to Love Me" singer dished to ET about the importance of telling her story.
"In a weird way, I feel like it is a time capsule of things -- a period of my life where I look back, and I actually feel bad for that version of myself," Gomez explained. "I think that it was good for me to see how I was responding to my body, the way that I was acting and the way it was so irrational in moments, and I think it was really healing for me to see that and get it out."
Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me is available on Apple TV+ Nov. 4.
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