'The Real Housewives of Potomac' OG is back for what promises to be her most personal season yet, as her marriage comes to an end.
For a little over six months, Ashley Darby's been waiting to tell her side of the story when it comes to her split from husband Michael Darby. Now, she finally can, as season 7 of The Real Housewives of Potomac is set to hit TV screens.
"I've shared so much about my life, about my marriage, about my family, about my motherhood journey and this is another ride on my rollercoaster, I guess," she explains to ET over video chat. "Michael and I have decided to separate, and it's a really difficult decision, but ultimately I think it is the best decision for us, because I just really am a different person than I was was when he met me."
"I do want people to remember that we're human, that I'm a human," she adds as a message to viewers, "and I really do wish that I could operate in this very linear, 'This is how it's gonna go and so it shall be...' but these emotions are really complex, and I just I hope people do have an understanding of that. It's been a challenging time for me."
Ashley and Michael's marriage has long been a focus of discussion amongst the RHOP OG's co-stars and viewers alike. In the beginning, there were questions about why a beautiful, young pageant queen would tie the knot with an older businessman, who largely already lived his life. Then, as the seasons went on, new questions started to poke at the ins and outs of their relationship, with claims of infidelity and suspicion of inappropriate behavior becoming a main theme in the show's storylines.
"It didn't really affect my marriage, or how I felt about my marriage," Ashley admits of her personal life turning into public fodder. "I think more so, it did affect Michael, because people were looking at his every move. I mean, if he was out anywhere, people would take pictures and send them to me, you know? 'Who's Michael talking to?' 'What's Michael doing?' And I think over a while that did start to wear on him a little bit and affect, ultimately, how he looked at our marriage, and feeling that sort of insecurity is hard for anybody. Not feeling like you have your own autonomy, so that was another thing that contributed to us ultimately coming to this decision. But I've always felt like, I know Michael. I love who Michael is -- I still love Michael -- and I felt like we could weather any storm."
Ashley can't exactly boil down her decision to end things to one reason, but does share that she and her estranged husband "just have different expectations for the relationship." After Ashley gave birth to her and Michael's sons -- Dean, now 3, and Dylan, 1 -- she shared how she was ready to put some of their past habits behind them, like inviting third parties into the bedroom.
"It has just sort of been a long time coming," she laments. "And yes, there is something that happened, that I do share in this season, that was sort of the pivotal moment that made it come to fruition, but ultimately ... it's just been piling up, if you will."
The audience will only hear from Ashley this season; Michael opted not to film RHOP amid their split.
"Michael has decided that that he doesn't wanna be a part of [the show] anymore, and I respect that," she says. "It was a really difficult thing, where he didn't have any privacy for a while there. Granted, it was from some of his own doing but, you know, he just wanted to-- he says, 'I'm 62 years old and I just wanna have my life back,' and I respect that."
Ashley's decision to end things came just as cameras went up on season 7; she warns viewers should brace for a "really rocky" experience as she sorts out her new normal in real-time.
"I wish I could say it's all peachy keen and I'm just that b****h, you know? But I'm not," she says. "It's made me question a lot about my confidence, about how my life is gonna look, who I am, my identity... so it's been a major shift altogether and, yeah, it's gonna be out there for the world to see."
As the trailer teases, the other women in the group -- Karen Huger, Gizelle Bryant, Robyn Dixon, Candiace Dillard-Bassett, Wendy Osefo and Mia Thornton -- have some questions about the separation, especially after Ashley announces she and Michael are buying a house together. She also refuses to use the word 'divorce' when describing the split, citing a bit of a technicality. In Virginia, Ashley and Michael must be legally separated for at least one year before filing for divorce.
"It was very fresh, it was a fairly new decision, that we had decided -- or that I had decided on -- so it had still felt like a new wound," she recalls, "and I don't feel like it was so-- 'divorce' is so, even d- it's just such a hard consonant, I just wasn't ready. I wasn't fully ready to use that terminology. And also, legally, I'm not divorced. So, yeah, I think just needed maybe a little bit more softball, not so much hardball. Just a little softball."
"Neither of us use the word 'divorce,'" she adds. "Neither of us say that. We say 'separated,' or 'separation.' Neither of us say, 'divorce.' So, I know I have six more months -- it's actually, like, exactly six months as of a week ago, so I'm at the halfway mark and, yeah, it still feels really weird. It's almost 10 years of my life. It is 10 years of my life that I've been with this person, so it's hard."
While Ashley says the women have been a great support, that support was seemingly earned, not just given.
"I was really emotional," she shares. "I mean, it was just so new and I was really, I was upset, and no day was the same. Some days, I would wake up feeling so good, and then some days I would wake up feeling sad. So when my friends, who have all experienced some sort of separation or divorce, what have you, when they were so insensitive initially, I got upset because I was like, 'You've been through this before. How could you have that reaction to me?'"
"But then, I had to rationalize, you know?" she continues. "I started thinking from their perspective, and they've all had very different circumstances and different situations. So sometimes people do project onto you what they did, or how they should've acted, or what they felt, and really, it's their own journey, but yet they're bringing in elements from their own experience into yours, so that's what I realized they were doing. So that's why I just let it roll off my back."
Now half a year removed from pulling the trigger and breaking things off with Michael, Ashley says she's "going through this awakening."
"I'm feeling so much more inspired, to just engage more," she says. "I'm starting to do more yoga sessions. I'm starting to do more public speaking. I'm more active and involved in my passion, which is communicating and meeting people. Conversely, the hard part of that is, it is pulling me away from my children. When I first had kids, I thought I was just gonna be a stay-at-home mom, like, be in the kitchen cooking and cleaning and doing homework and arts and crafts all the time. That's what I thought I wanted. So now that the landscape is different, it's a little bit of a dichotomy for me. It's not really who I thought I would be as a mom."
Ashley and Michael still live together in their Arlington, Virginia, penthouse, co-parenting the boys and making the transition for the toddlers as smooth as possible.
"We are operating as Dean and Dylan's parents," she says. "We still do things as a family, so every Saturday and Sunday we're together, we have dinner together. We have breakfast together, but conversation outside of things that pertain to the children is very small. ... He's just still such a great dad, and it really means a lot to me -- and it contributes a lot to me wanting to work with him and still maintain a really positive relationship."
As for the boys, Ashley notes they're still a little too young to fully grasp what's unfolding between their mom and dad.
"The biggest thing that they've noticed is that we don't sleep in the same bed and in the same room," she says. "Dean's three now, so he is a little more cognizant of that, and he notes it now. I don't necessarily-- I don't know if he knows what it means, or if he knows the sort of implications of that, but he does make note of the fact that we're not sleeping in the same room. He'll say, 'Daddy's room,' and, 'Mommy's room,' that kind of thing."
While divorce is still a harsh word for Ashley, she is open to the other d-word: dating.
"It's definitely on my radar," she confesses. "I'm 34, you know what I'm saying? I'm in my prime, essentially, so yes, I think about it. I dabble here and there, to be honest, but it's still not something-- especially while I'm still living here, I just don't think it's the right thing to do, you know? And I can't really give myself to anyone emotionally. I'm still pretty connected to Michael."
Thinking ahead to what all the fans are about to witness, Ashley's not sure there's a singular moment from her personal story she's dreading reliving.
"Personally, the whole thing is just gonna be really rough," she laments. "There are glimpses where I have such great family time, my mom's really supportive, my uncle's really supportive. I have so many fun times with the ladies, they really helped to distract me, which is nice for my birthday this year, especially. So there are a lot of things to look forward to, but there are definitely some things that I'm gonna be looking through my fingers."
She actually calls out a moment that doesn't directly involve her -- Mia throwing a drink at Wendy -- as the part of the season she's least looking forward to watching back.
"That's one that I don't really want to watch again, because in the moment I didn't like how it transpired," she says, "and I didn't like how what happened afterwards. So that's a toughie for me."
On the flipside, there is some positive progress to see between Ashley and Candiace.
"We have come a long way. We started out fine, and then we had a little hiccup," she notes, seemingly referencing their butter-knife altercation. She jokes she doesn't know if she wants to "claim" bringing Candiace into this crew.
"Yeah, I brought her around the group initially, and I am happy I did that," she says. "I think she has a lot that she can learn from these ladies. I think that we'll always try. I'll always try to make it work with her, because we do have so much in common and when we have fun. We have fun, we turn up and I appreciate that she does have the ability to have this carefree spirit, but we approach conflict and we approach how to address issues so differently, and that's where our train just veers right off the tracks."
The supertease previews friction between Candiace and a number of the women, namely over allegations her husband, Chris Bassett, might be acting inappropriately with other ladies. There are also questions about Karen's marriage, aka the Huger "institution," seemingly brought to light by returning castmate Charrisse Jackson-Jordan.
"I'm still a little in the dark about what happened between Charrisse and Karen," Ashley confesses. "I'm hoping that maybe I can learn and understand just like everybody else."
While Karen likely isn't a fan of seeing Charrisse back around, Ashley's thrilled by it.
"Charrisse actually never left, in my opinion," she says. "Charrisse has always been there. She's always been my homegirl, you know? She calls, we hang out. So to have her back around the group is refreshing because, quite frankly, she is the real OG, OK? She knows everybody in Potomac. Potomac is her backyard, so to have her back be around the group is nice. It's just like old times."
The Real Housewives of Potomac airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Bravo, starting Oct. 9.
RELATED CONTENT:
