Lindsay spoke with ET about her emotional conversation with Kufrin on Tuesday.
Rachel Lindsay and Becca Kufrin had an emotional conversation on Tuesday's episode of their Bachelor Happy Hour podcast -- in which they addressed the ongoing Black Lives Matter protests and a recent pro-police post from Kufrin's fiancé, Garrett Yrigoyen, that has come under fire from fans, followers and fellow members of Bachelor Nation.
Last week, Yrigoyen shared his thoughts on the protests and police with a post in support of "the Thin Blue Line."
"With so many friends and family in law enforcement I couldn’t sit back and not support them and the hundreds of thousands of men and women of all races that represent this Thin Blue Line as well," he wrote. "It’s important for me to recognize the ones who stand in the gap and put their lives on the line each and every single day for humans of different race and ethnicity, including those who hate them. The Thin Blue Line represents each officer protecting protestors, properties, and businesses while being threatened, attacked, shot, shot at, hit with vehicles, and other forms of brutality. There have been over 300 injured, shot, or killed in just one week. They are suffering the consequences over an act they didn’t commit.”
"Remember when they put on the badge they’re still humans, with raw emotion, the more brutality they face the more on edge they become, they make mistakes, they have compassion, and no matter how terrible they are treated or whatever negative is said to them, they still show up for us when we need them! Remember these men and women who hold this Thin Blue Line; strangers, friends, family, neighbors, or your enemies. They will always be out there protecting us, no matter what!"
On the podcast, Kufrin said that while her fiancé's post was "tone-deaf," she defended his actions as not "malicious" but rather coming from a place of concern for his family and friends who are cops.
"Garrett is my fiancé and I love him and, to his core, I believe that he is a good person,” she said. “I don’t align with and I don’t agree with [his post]."
"I don't think that was the time or the place or the right sentiment... we're struggling too right now," Kufrin added. "There's a lot going on and now I'm struggling with this.... There is still a lot of growth and changing of mindsets I would like to see take place."
Lindsay agreed, sharing with her friend and co-host, "When I read his post, I think what was so troubling for me, in addition to the thin blue line, I don't understand when he says, 'I've listened, learned, helped, supported and I've grown.' And then everything thereafter contradicts that entire line. So before I even give my whole thought on it... what is it that he has learned and how is it that he's grown? Because we don't see it with this statement."
"To me, this is what Garrett thinks, this is what Garrett is. He posted a black box. He never said 'black lives matter.' He posted fists of every color, which to me is like, 'Everybody, all lives,'" she said of Yrigoyen's most recent posts. "And then the very next post is the 'thin blue line' with a heartfelt, thought-out caption that he said with his chest. And to me, that is what you feel, and that is what you believe. I don’t think Garrett is malicious, but Garrett is what the problem is.”
Kufrin admitted that there were "conversations to be had" between her and her fiancé as they work on addressing their white privilege -- "I'm trying my best right now. It's going to be a work in progress." -- and while she said Yrigoyen didn't mean his post "maliciously," for Lindsay, there is more than just outright harmful intent at play when it comes to taking the side of the cops, when a major focus of the Black Lives Matter protests is police brutality and the disproportionate number of black Americans killed by law enforcement each year.
"You don't have to be riding around with white sheets on to be doing things that are racist," she explained. "I know Garrett has a good heart, but the fact that he is willing to equate Blue Lives Matter to Black Lives Matter shows me that you don't get it. Garrett is not an idiot.... you are not willing to unlearn the world that you live in."
"At the end of the day, I don't choose to be black. Police officers choose to become a police officer. You face dangers, you take an oath to serve and protect... nobody is saying that your lives don't matter," she added. "But by Garrett putting that message out there, you are missing the entire point... If you have chosen to not educate yourself or to not learn what is going on, it is a choice."
The former Bachelorette grew tearful as she continued: "Most of the time, you choose to do it because you don't care. When your circle doesn't have people of color in it, why would you step out to care about the injustices they're facing, when it doesn't affect you at all? Garrett is a prime example of what is wrong in this society... This is what makes me emotional. I don't understand why people are just now getting it."
Lindsay spoke with ET's Lauren Zima on Tuesday as well, where she opened up further about addressing Yrigoyen's post with Kufrin.
"I was very honest with her. I said, 'Becca, I never publicly spoke about his problematic social media behavior out of respect for you,'" she noted. I really like Becca. We have a relationship and I care about her, but seeing what he did with the 'Thin Blue Line' post -- which is basically 'Blue Lives Matter' -- I was very vocal with how that made me feel."
"This is who I feel he is, and it's upsetting to me, because I've been around him, I've spent time with him and I've really grown to like him, but it's like 15 steps back with what I saw with this post," Lindsay continued. "I just told her, for me, this is a person who's unwilling to unlearn the way he has- the society he has lived in, and because he hasn't been around people of color, which he admitted to... This is now the second incident that we know of that he's done something like this."
For herself, Lindsay -- who was the first black Bachelorette and has long been lobbying for the franchise to cast its first-ever black male lead -- said she was making sure to take time to relax and recharge as she continues in her mission to bring change and diversity to Bachelor Nation.
"I really am big on meditation and journaling and taking time for myself, and so I've done that so that I can regroup and move forward, because I feel like I'm not doing this for me at this point," she shared. "I've gotten all I can from the franchise, right? I've become the Bachelorette, I've gotten married, you know, there's really nowhere else for me to go."
As for Kufrin, she took to Instagram after the episode went live, expressing her regret at how the conversation had gone -- and, in part, the way she had defended her fiancé.
"This conversation was the hardest, most uncomfortable, but important ones that we’ve had. I value my friendship with Rachel. I also value my partnership with Garrett. So this is really effing hard. As it should be," she wrote. "I will be the first to admit that listening to this back, I came up short. Very short. I listen to this & wish I had said more, wish I could have expressed myself better, wish I could have given so much more than I did."
"I think to myself 'I didn’t ask the right questions,' 'I threw out the incorrect phrases,' 'I didn’t defend my fiancé,' 'why couldn’t I back up my thought process better?' The list goes on & on," she added. "So where do I go from here? I can’t re-record this episode. I can’t go back & change my words (or lack there of). I can only try to move forward with what I believe is right, how to accept, be patient, & show care to others - especially for those who are hurting most right now. "
See more from Lindsay addressing diversity in Bachelor Nation in the video below.
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