Rachel had an affair with Ariana's now-ex, Tom Sandoval.
Rachel Leviss is revealing how Ariana Madix played into her decision not to return to Vanderpump Rules for season 11. In a six-minute preview of her upcoming iHeartPodcast, Rachel Goes Rogue, the reality star, who went by the name Raquel Leviss prior to her affair with Tom Sandoval, explained how her experience working with her ex, James Kennedy, and his new girlfriend, Ally Lewber, made her not want to subject Madix to the same fate.
"I already made a mistake by returning to season 10. Looking back at that season, I was at my lowest of lows. Filming Vanderpump Rules after breaking off an engagement with James, that was my first mistake, because I should've taken the time to heal and find a therapist." she said. "I did the right thing by having a no-contact policy with James, but when we're working together and filming together and he's flaunting his new girlfriend that he met three weeks after I ended the engagement, that hurt."
"There were so many questions running through my mind like: Did he ever really love me? How is it possible to love someone and then get over them so quickly?" Leviss continued. "I was drinking a ton season 10. This is not an excuse. I'm just, point blank, I was not in a good mental space. In knowing that, I'm learning from my mistakes."
With that in mind, Leviss said, "Looking back and seeing how much pain I was in interacting with James on camera and seeing his new girlfriend, I could only imagine the pain I would cause by filming in the same environment with Ariana."
"Being involved with somebody's boyfriend while they're still in a relationship is a huge betrayal and so painful as it is, but then to continue working with these people... and seeing the person that you loved so much and you thought they loved you just as much as you loved them, be conversing with this other person, it would just be so catastrophic, and I didn't want to do that to Ariana," she said. "I didn't want to put her in that position."
Since making the decision to "completely remove" herself "from the filming environment that is Vanderpump Rules," Leviss said she hasn't heard from her former castmates and doesn't "necessarily want to hear from any of them."
There is one exception to that statement, though, and that's her former flame himself.
"Tom did send me a happy birthday message on Instagram via comment," Leviss, who blocked Sandoval on the social media platform after his comment, said. "He couldn't have reached out to me via text because I blocked him the day that I got my phone back after treatment, but he could've DM'd me instead of making a public comment."
"I've been thinking about that a lot, and I think, for him, because I'm just trying to put myself in his shoes, was he doing this to be spiteful, or was he doing this to be like, 'I want the best for you,'" she wondered. "It seems like it could go either way."
While cutting Sandoval out of her life was "a hard process," Leviss said it's one she glad she decided to go through with.
"The story I would tell myself about our relationship that we had, it seemed so special and it seemed so real, but when you look at the cold, hard facts and write them down on a piece of paper and see all of those red flags clear as day, that will break you out of your denial," she said. "Once I was broken out of denial and realized how manipulative he is, I couldn't put myself in a situation where, at my most vulnerable state, it would probably get me back to those old patterns that I'm trying to break free from."
Leviss noted that "taking a step back and removing myself from the chaos has allowed me to gain some clarity -- actually a lot of clarity -- on the situation."
"I look back at season 10 as a really difficult season to watch back, because I'm just cringing at all of the things and all of the moments that they caught on camera," she admitted. "It's really embarrassing. I see a girl that is going through pain and doesn't have the right tools to tackle it, and she's coping in the way that she feels like her needs are being met by someone that's giving her adoration and attention. I really did not prioritize my friendships when I got involved with Tom, and I regret that a lot."
Leviss promised her listeners that she will discuss "the good, the bad, the ugly" of her "morally wrong" scandal when her podcast premieres on Jan. 8.
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