Mai who previously said she didn't want kids, explained the childhood trauma that led her to that decision and what changed her mind.
Jeannie Mai is sharing what made her change her mind about motherhood. In a new episode on her Hello Hunnay with Jeannie Mai YouTube channel, The Real co-host, who had previously been adamant about not wanting kids, says husband, Jeezy, shifted her outlook on the future and made her comfortable with starting a family.
And while Mai is excited to start her family, the pregnant TV personality, who has been open about the sexual abuse she endured as a child, admitted that she still worries if she'll be able to protect her child in the way that she wasn't protected herself.
In 2019, Mai shared that she was molested by a family member at age 9. The years of alleged abuse, by who she says was a 16-year-old cousin who babysat her after school, led to a nearly 10-year falling out with her mother, Olivia, who initially didn't believe her. It's something the host said she's still working through today.
"As a child, when you are taken from things that feel good and whole and safe, it's hard to see anything as trustworthy moving forward. I realize that the reason I didn't want to have kids is because that feeling when I was a kid was so real and so damaging to the point that I'm 42 today still dealing with trust issues and confidence," Mai explained.
"It still scares me whether or not I can keep a kid safe from someone else who might hurt them," she added.
Mai, 42, talked about meeting Jeezy, 43, and the relief she felt after getting to know him and finding out the there was no pressure to have kids "on either side," but as their relationship blossomed, so did the her desire to build a family with the rapper, and give their child the childhood they "never had'
"I'm so thankful because I've never felt this ready. I've been through so much, and I've survived and I'm shining. My heart is ready. I was meant to be a mom," Mai said.
In September, Mai revealed that she and Jeezy, who have been married since March, were expecting their first child together. Jeezy has three children -- Jadarius, Shyheim and Amra -- from previous relationships.
During her big bump reveal on the TV show, Mai shared with her co-hosts the many reasons that led her to change her mind about becoming a mom, with the rapper's love being the biggest one.
"You know, I was like, I know exactly what I want, I know exactly what kind of woman I want to be, and I always said, 'I'd never be a mom,'" she said. "And there's so many reasons now that are coming to fruition as to why I would have said that then, but I do know that you never say never, and that love can really change you."
"I think the reason why it’s such a big deal is because Jeezy made me realize that I've never really felt safe in my life, you know?" she continued, holding back tears. "I've never really truly felt safe. And of course, it has to do with things that happened when I was younger, but when you know what feeling unsafe is like, that becomes your world. And falling in love with Jeezy, meeting someone who also didn't feel safe in their life, we began to really create a place where our happiness spelled out what safe looked like around us. So, as soon as you feel safe, in a healthy relationship, all of a sudden you start having visions and dreams and for both of us at the same time, it would be becoming parents, having kids."
For more on Mai's pregnancy, watch the video below.
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