Exes Peter Facinelli and Jennie Garth discuss their marriage, divorce and co-parenting their three kids.
Exes Jennie Garth and Peter Facinelli are opening up like never before in the latest episode of the actress' podcast, I Choose Me With Jennie Garth.
The former spouses sit down together for the first time publicly since their 2012 split to discuss the pitfalls in their 12-year marriage, Facinelli's decision to divorce, and how they've handled co-parenting in the years since. Throughout the nearly one-hour discussion, which was labeled as "Pt. 1" of the talk, the two actors reflected on their early whirlwind romance.
"We came together very fast, very furious, and very quick and I remember thinking, 'Well, let's move in together and see how it goes,' and it just went," Facinelli recalled of their romance. "Five years went by, and I thought, 'Well, we should get married.' Then we got married and had another kid. It was almost like an arranged marriage in a way and things seemed well. We had disagreements here and there, but I think we were really young."
Noting that the Beverly Hills, 90210 star already had an established career by the time he met her in his early '20s, Facinelli said that they were at very different places in life.
"I didn't have a sense of who I was, and so I was just trying to be all these things for other people," Facinelli explained. "When that fell apart, it took me time to try to get in touch with me."
Repeating the sentiment that it felt like they had "an arranged marriage," Facinelli added, "I loved you and we had this beautiful family from the outside, but I hadn't developed who I was. So how you could you love me? I didn't know me."
He also confirmed to Garth that he didn't feel like he had the "space" to figure out who he was within their marriage.
"Considering all of that, we really did last a long time. I think because of the children," Garth said of the former couple's three kids.
"I think if we didn't have children, I wouldn't have stayed," Facinelli admitted. "Because of the freedom to go, 'OK, I need to figure out who I am.'"
Saying he felt "conflicted" about the decision to ask Garth for a divorce, Facinelli noted, "It broke my heart to break up a family. It was one of those decisions where you never know if you're making the right decision."
Garth said that at the time, she felt like her ex wanted her to thank him for being brave enough to broach the topic of a divorce.
"I feel like you wanted me to say, 'Thank you for your courage,' but I could never get to that," Garth said, adding, "I remember distinctly in that RV, 'Jen, some day you're going to thank me for this,' and I got so pissed at you. I was like, 'I'm never going to thank you for this!'"
"But you're in a wonderful marriage now with an incredible man," Facinelli said, referencing Garth's husband, Dave Abrams, whom she married in 2015.
"But now, my point is, I thank you for doing it for all the growth I've experienced from it and because of it, I wouldn't be who I am now," Garth shared.
She went on to praise her ex for being a present parent to their daughters, Luca, 26, Lola, 21, and Fiona, 17.
"I have the space within my heart now to find all those areas of respect for you and your decision, why you made it for yourself, and how hard that was for you and your concern for the girls' feelings and how it affected them," Garth said. "I have a lot of gratitude knowing that you are a full-time dad."
The exes also spoke about their ups and downs co-parenting after their divorce. They have shared 50/50 custody of their kids, which Garth said she "emotionally regretted," wanting more.
"At the same time I knew that having you, their father, for 50 percent of the time was absolutely the best for them," Garth admitted.
Facinelli felt the struggle communicating with his ex early on.
"I think that where we could have done better, or I could have done better was communicating more," Facinelli admitted. "Because we spent a lot of time texting back and forth."
"We wasted so much time trying to prove our points to one another," Garth agreed.
Facinelli noted that sometimes their daughters "play us against each other," and explained that he doesn't always feel he has the space to parent on his own.
"It's hard when I'm trying to parent, and I feel like I'm always being looked over, like I'm not doing it well, I'm not doing it right. I need to be able to have the space to parent in my own way," he shared.
However, despite all of this, Facinelli and Garth both agreed that they're proud of the blended family they've created.
"Whatever we did, whether it was right or wrong, they grew up to be wonderful kids and I feel very fortunate," Facinelli said.
Garth and Facinelli tied the knot in 2001 after meeting on the set of Unfinished Affair in 1996. Garth married Abrams in 2015, two years after her divorce was finalized. Facinelli is currently engaged to Lily Anne Harrison and the pair welcomed a baby boy, Jack, in September 2022.
In a 2017 interview, Facinelli talked his split from Garth.
"People come into your life for a reason and relationships can change, and just because we aren’t living together doesn’t mean you can’t love each other," the Twilight actor said at the time. "I think once, there was a time where we had to learn that we had to be able to move forward with love and respect."
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