'I woke up and I just immediately remembered Nick's password,' Amanda Kloots said.
Amanda Kloots has been given a meaningful gift in the wake her husband, Nick Cordero's, death. The personal trainer was able to look back at some personal photos and videos of her late husband and their family after remembering the password to his phone just days after his death.
"I was really lucky today. I woke up and I just immediately remembered Nick's password to his cell phone," she told her fans on her Instagram stories. "I went to his phone which has been with me since I took his belongings at the hospital and I charged it and I put it in."
Kloots had to briefly pause in her story as she was overcome with emotion, saying, "I was recovering a lot of photos and text messages from a lot of people from April to now. It has been a day of reflection... he was such a beautiful man. I kept saying that to him at the hospital, 'You're such a beautiful man and I love you so much and I still do and I will always.'"
Noting Cordero had received 832 text messages since going into his coma in March, Kloots also shared photos of him with their 1-year-old son, Elvis, posing in front of their first car, and having a family picnic in the park.
She also opened up about her grieving process.
"I'm used to sleeping alone and I'm used to not talking to him and that all has been sort of my life for the last three months. That is a normal thing," Kloots explained. "I think the thing that is really hard is acknowledging that I won't see him again or the things that, you know, he's going to miss with Elvis... I go in and out of complete shattered tears, not knowing what to do, feeling completely lost to also feeling OK and strong."
Kloots added that when it comes to feelings, she's being honest with herself.
"I'm letting myself feel all the feels, and I'm letting myself cry when I need to and I'm letting myself just sit in silence if I need to, be around friends if I need to," Kloots, who is currently spending time with family friend, actor Zach Braff, and his actress girlfriend, Florence Pugh, revealed.
She went on to note that she plans to one day share with fans her experience in the final moments of her husband's life.
"I will share with you one day about those last couple hours with Nick because they were really beautiful and ironic a little bit," she added.
For more on Cordero's tragic death, watch the clip below:
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