The show host opened up about mental health for the 'Men's Health Hip-Hop Health: Mind Over Music' event.
Nearly two years after Nick Cannon announced the death of his and Alyssa Scott's son, Zen, the talk show host is opening up about the emotional journey behind the revelation.
In December 2021, Cannon shared on his since-canceled eponymous daytime talk show that 5-month-old Zen died of brain cancer and a subsequent tumor. Zen was Cannon's seventh child.
In conversation with hip-hop legend and co-founder of Hip Hop Public Health Doug E. Fresh, board-certified neurologist and co-founder of Hip-Hop Public Health Dr. Olajide Williams, and GRAMMY-nominated Dreamville Records artist Lute for Men's Health's Hip-Hop Health: Mind Over Music event, Cannon explained that he sought therapy after the loss of his son, and continues to attend daily.
"I still don't handle it as well as I would like to. It keeps you up late at night -- the guilt. How to deal with guilt. The experience of losing a child. All of those things, that's a day-to-day battle," Cannon shared. "But through the processes, through having loved ones, having a partner that is just as understanding and willing to take that journey with you."
Reflecting on how he revealed the news to the outside world, Cannon mused whether he could have said things differently to soften the blow for his Nick Cannon Show watchers. "I remember my daily talk show, I didn't know what to say, I probably did some things, I know I did some things that I know weren't the correct way to handle it, but I just had to get it out," he explained, adding that he still struggles with home much of his private life he shares with the public.
"I kept the idea -- and maybe it was more out of optimism -- I'm gonna keep this in. I'm not gonna tell anybody about what my family or what my son is going through because I don't want to be sad..." he said. "But hindsight I probably should have talked to people, so it wouldn't have been such a shock when it did happen. It's constant. None of us are perfect, but God ain't done with me yet."
On Dec. 7, 2021, Cannon somberly explained to his viewers that Zen had died due to hydrocephalus, a condition he described as "a malignant, midline brain tumor -- brain cancer." According to the Mayo Clinic, hydrocephalus "is the buildup of fluid in the cavities (ventricles) deep within the brain. The excess fluid increases the size of the ventricles and puts pressure on the brain."
"I always noticed he had a cough and so I wanted to check it out," he continued. "He had this interesting breathing and by the time he was two months I noticed he had this nice sized head too -- a Cannon head. We didn’t think anything of it. But I wanted to take him to the doctor for his sinus and breathing. We thought it would be routine."
The family quickly discovered that it was not a routine visit and that Zen had fluid building in his head and it was a malignant tumor. The baby had brain surgery and a shunt to drain the fluid.
Cannon shared that things took a turn for the worse at Thanksgiving.
"Ultimately, it was cancer in the brain and the tumor began to grow a lot faster. And so we knew that time was...," he began before getting choked up. "This weekend I made a valid effort to spend the most quality time I could spend with Zen. We woke up on Sunday -- I got to spend the weekend with him -- and I woke up on Sunday and was like, 'I feel like I want to go to the water.' We got a chance to go to the ocean."
Cannon then tearfully shared that he held his son for the last time that weekend.
"I didn't know how I was going to handle today, but I just wanted to grieve with my family," he told viewers, adding that he was at work so soon after because it was all he knew, calling the episode a "special show dedicated to my beautiful son, Zen."
The day after what would have been Zen's first birthday, Cannon and Scott announced a new foundation in honor of their late son, with the goal of helping to find a cure for pediatric cancer. The duo took to their Instagrams at the time and announced the Zen's Light Foundation, whose mission "is to foster global excellence in hope, grief-care, and pediatric healthcare for families and children in need." Cannon and Scott attended "a beautiful lighting ceremony to honor the life of an Angel" to commemorate the occasion.
Zen's parents also thanked the Children's Hospital of Orange County for helping them pull off the inaugural event.
"Can't wait for next year where our Lighting Gala will continue [to] grow to help find a cure for pediatric [c]ancer, further research and help console more families during difficult times," the caption concluded.
Cannon and Scott have since welcomed their second child together, a daughter named Halo, whom the model gave birth to on Dec. 14.
Scott announced the news via her Instagram page, marking the arrival of Cannon's 12th child and Scott's third.
"December 14, 2022. Our lives are forever changed ❤️," Scott captioned the emotional video reflecting on welcoming their daughter just a year after the death of Zen. "Zen is in every breath I take. I know his spirit was with us in the room that morning. I know he is watching down on us. He shows me signs every day. I will hold onto this memory forever."
She added, "I will remember the sound of Nick's voice saying 'it's a girl' and the look of everything we've been through flash across his face. I will remember the sound of her crying out with her first breath and feeling her heartbeat against mine. My sweet girl, I got my surprise!! We love you Halo Marie Cannon! 🤍."
In addition to Zen and Halo, Cannon is also dad to twins Monroe and Moroccan with ex-wife Mariah Carey, Golden Sagon and Powerful Queen with Brittany Bell, twins Zion Mixolydian and Zillion Heir with Abby De La Rosa, and son, Legendary Love, with model Bre Tiesi. Bell gave birth to her third child with Cannon, Rise Messiah, in September and De La Rosa welcomed her third child with Cannon, Beautiful Zeppelin, in November. See Cannon's full family tree here.
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