The reality star filed for divorce from Kanye West in February.
The Kardashian-Jenner family is looking toward the future in Thursday's Keeping Up With the Kardashians series finale, and for Kim Kardashian West, that means getting candid about her divorce from husband Kanye West.
While the couple's strained relationship has been mentioned in passing during KUWTK's 20th and final season, the finale episode sees Kim sitting down with mom Kris Jenner for an earnest conversation about what led her to making her split official.
"I never thought I was lonely," Kim shares of her life with Kanye, which has been split in recent years between their California home and Wyoming ranch. "I always thought, that's totally fine. I can just have my kids, and my husband moves from state to state, and I'm on this ride with him. And I was OK with that."
However, she admits, "After turning 40 this year, I realized, no. I don't want a husband that lives in a completely different state. I thought, 'That's when we're getting along the best,' but then that is sad to me. And that's not what I want."
Kris tells her daughter she just wanted her to be "happy and joyful... And I think I haven't seen that in a long time." She echoes the family's concerns that Kim hasn't been talking to them about her marital struggles, but Kim says she's found it more productive to talk her issues through with a therapist.
The reality star, business mogul and aspiring lawyer admits that she's achieved "10 times more than I ever thought was possible" in her life, "but I don't have a life to share that with."
"I want someone that, we have the same shows in common. I want someone that wants to work out with me," Kim explains, recalling that "third-wheeling it" with sister Khloe Kardashian and her beau, Tristan Thompson, during quarantine exercise sessions made her long for a partner that was present in more parts of her life.
"It's the little things," she adds. "I have all the big things. I have all the extravagant, everything you could possible want, and no one will ever do it like that. And I'm grateful for those experiences, but I think I'm ready for the smaller experiences that I think will mean a lot."
Kim concludes by saying that she doesn't want to rush any big decisions or life changes, but she wants to work toward personal fulfillment after "waking up at 40 and realizing I just want total happiness."
"Obviously, complete bliss is not a full reality, but if I can have it more, a majority of the time, that's all I wanna do," she notes. "Wherever that takes me, I just want my pure happiness. That's what I'm working on, figuring out how to get there."
"You're a very strong girl," Kris praises. "And you seem to handle everything very calmly."
"Calmness is my super power," Kim agrees.
Ultimately, Kim filed for divorce from Kanye in February, after six years of marriage. Last month, a source told ET that Kim has been "in a great headspace and moving on" in the months that have followed.
"Kim is really focused on her family," the source said at the time. "Kim has been with the kids the majority of the time. The kids and her enjoy doing outdoor activities together and they all spend a ton of time with their cousins. Kim loves keeping them busy, creative, and on the go."
The source added, "[Kim] is continuing to be a great mom and focusing on work. She has a ton of upcoming projects that she is super excited about. Her life is definitely on the upswing."
The two-part Keeping Up With the Kardashians reunion airs Thursday, June 17 at 8 p.m. PT/ET and Sunday, June 20 at 9 p.m. PT/ET on E!. See more on the final season in the video below.
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