The actress details the lengths she went to in order to keep her engagement to Nnamdi Asomugha private.
Kerry Washington and her husband, Nnamdi Asomugha, have been known for keeping their relationship under wraps, but after over a decade of marriage, the Scandal actress is sharing details of their private love story. During a recent appearance on SiriusXM's This Life of Mine with James Corden, Washington, 47, reflected on how she and Asomugha have thrived by keeping their relationship sacred.
When asked by Corden to pick a possession that makes her who she is, Washington chose a collection of shells that she collected on her honeymoon after her June 2013 wedding to the former football pro. The Golden Globe winner shared how the collection was born during "the happiest two weeks of my life," during which she and Asomugha stayed at a resort on an island off the coast of Zanzibar.
"I think maybe it has something to do with how much I love the ocean. It has something to do with how much I loved that week. You know, the two happiest weeks of my life outside of anything having to do with children are my honeymoon and hosting SNL," she told Corden. "Whenever I look at that collection of shells, it reminds me of the space that we gave ourselves to start our life together as a couple in this really sacred way. You know, having this sort of very private, secretive wedding and then just jumping off into this very remote place to really begin our lives together. I love that. I love that jar. It always makes me feel so grateful for the life that I have."
Having typically guarded her personal life during her Hollywood career, Washington kept details of their 2013 wedding private at the time, but has since shed light on their special day -- and how they managed to keep it such a secret.
"I used to pin my engagement ring to my undergarments because I loved my ring so much, so I would sleep in it at night, and then in the morning, I would pin it to my undergarments so that nobody knew we were engaged," she recalled.
Washington said that at the time of their engagement, both she and Asomugha were at a "really crazy time" in their lives that made keeping their relationship away from prying eyes a boon.
"He had a groundbreaking, record-breaking contract that he had just walked through, and he had been in three or four Pro Bowls, you know. When I met him, he was on the cover of Sports Illustrated, and I was on this hit show. It just felt like there was a lot of public energy around our careers, but we kept our relationship very private when we were dating, I think mostly because we just wanted to protect ourselves and each other," she explained to Corden.
The actress pointed out that she had already been through a public engagement and breakup with actor David Moscow from October 2004 to March 2007 and was tired of sharing her personal life with the public.
"I think it's really hard when people have a lot to say about your relationship, and I had been in a really public engagement that when it ended, I was in the unfortunate position of being on the cover of a bridal magazine and it was a bridal magazine that came out quarterly, so for three months I walked around and I thought, 'I think I'm done talking about my personal life in the public,'" she admitted.
Washington really opened up about her family's life in her memoir, Thicker Than Water. The memoir chronicles Washington's struggles with disordered eating, suicidal thoughts, learning that her dad isn't her biological father, having an abortion and childhood trauma.
"I think every day I sat down to write, I thought, 'What am I doing?' because I've been so private. But it just felt like if I was gonna tell this story I wanted to tell enough of the story to feel as true as possible," Washington told ET at a book signing at Kips Bay Boys & Girls Club Gymnasium, in her hometown of Bronx, New York, last September.
"I think in a lot of ways, the book is really about me just beginning to understand who I am and in a lot of ways I'm on this kind of adventure of learning who I am," she added. "I still have lots of mysteries ahead of me [and] I think what's exciting about where I am right now is that I am willing to explore and be in the unknown and have the courage to be asking the big questions and not needing to be able to answer any of them perfectly or in succinct, easy ways."
For all the bumps she's encountered on her journey, Washington said she's in a place where she doesn't "necessarily have to have the missing puzzle piece to feel fulfilled."
Her family is the most important part of her life, which includes her parents, Earl and Valerie Washington, Asomugha, and her children, Isabelle and Caleb. The Little Fires Everywhere star is also stepmom to Asomugha's teenage daughter from a previous relationship.
After a past filled with secrecy, the star said that she ensures her children are raised in a place of honesty.
"In our home we really value honesty -- it's something we think about a lot. We also don't want to overwhelm our kids so we try to build a culture in our home where it's OK to ask questions," Washington said when asked how she approaches motherhood. "You can ask questions about anything at any time, there's no bad questions [and] there's no wrong questions. But then we kinda meet the kids where they are, right? We talk about things with our 17-year-old very differently than we talk about things with our 6-year-old. But having sort of an environment of truth is important."
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