'I didn’t want to break up my family,' the singer shares.
Jana Kramer is opening up about why she's ending her marriage with Mike Caussin.
Two weeks after filing for divorce from her husband of six years, the 37-year-old Country Crush star shared more details on the split during the latest episode of her Whine Down podcast. Kramer and Caussin share two kids together, daughter Jolie, 5, and son Jace, 2.
"I went to my therapist a few weeks ago like, 'Fine, I'll just live this life. It's fine," Kramer said. "I didn’t want to break up my family. My whole thing was, like, I didn’t want this for the kids. I stayed for my kids even when other things happened but my therapist was like, 'You don't want to live this life where it's taking your light away.'"
"I didn't want this at the end of the day. Where I'm at is -- I'm embarrassed," she continued. "I'm embarrassed that this is how it ended, and I also think that I've let people down. We've come on here and we've fought, and we fought for it. The words that were spoken, they were honest from me, is what I'll say."
Kramer admitted that splitting from Caussin "has not been easy."
"When I grieve, I isolate. I don't respond to my people and I just stay in my bed," she shared. "I had a friend come over the other day and she's just like, 'You have to get out of bed...' I don't know how to sometimes… The morning and the night are the hardest because I wake up and it's like that scene in Sex and the City where she's like, 'Was it a dream?'"
"It's so hard when I have all these feelings and emotions and then I have to be a mom on top of it," she added, getting emotional. "The first week I counted down to nap time 'cause I can go in my room and just shut the door and cry, just cry and then button it back up."
Kramer went on to say that she is already dreading the idea of co-parenting.
"The first time they leave for overnight, I'm going to be destroyed. It's not what I wanted. It's not what I worked for," she explained. "It's not what I fought for. And it's not fair, and that's what makes me so angry, I worked too damn hard for it to end this way."
Toward the end of the podcast, Kramer's producer asked her if there was anything about filing for divorce that brought her relief. "It's nice to not have to wonder and worry," she replied, referencing Caussin's alleged infidelity.
"[Mike and I] had a conversation before everything came to light and I was just like, 'If there's anything, I don't want to find it,'" Kramer said. "'Whatever it is, we can work through it.' It was just such a connected moment. He swore on his sobriety there was nothing."
As ET previously reported, Kramer filed for divorce from Caussin on April 20, accusing the former NFL star of "inappropriate marital conduct, irreconcilable differences and adultery." Caussin had previously admitted to cheating on Kramer in the past. The pair split in August 2016 amid reports of infidelity, after which Caussin entered rehab for sex addiction. He and Kramer ended up reconciling soon after.
Kramer also announced the news of their split via social media earlier this month, writing, "It's time. As I try to make sense of a reality I never wanted to believe could be possible again, those words have now become a reality."
"I've fought y'all. I've loved hard. I've forgiven. I've put the work in. I've given everything I have, and now I have nothing else to give," she continued. "Please know that I still believe wholeheartedly in marriage, love, and rebuilding. I just can't fight any longer. It's time to heal. Thank you for all the love, heart, and support, in many ways you have fought on this journey alongside me, and for that I am grateful. I'll always encourage you to continue the good fight, but you can't fight it alone. 💔"
Hear more in the video below.
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