'I didn't have the courage to leave for a long time,' she said.
Emily Ratajkowski is opening up about a painful split. The 31-year-old model appeared on the latest episode of Dear Media's Going Mental With Eileen Kelly podcast, and she detailed what led to her decision to end her marriage to Sebastian Bear-McClard. The pair, who tied the knot in 2018 and ended things in September 2022, share a 2-year-old son, Sylvester.
"I didn't have the courage to leave for a long time. I was really, really unhappy," Ratajkowski said. "I was, like, 100 pounds and I had just had a baby. I got really skinny 'cause I was not OK."
Before leaving her marriage, Ratajkowski said she "tried everything else" to cure her unhappiness.
"I tried to take antidepressants. I was sure that something was wrong with me," she said. "I think so much of what I learned coming out of that relationship is to trust your instincts. Gaslighting is a real thing."
Ratajkowski additionally noted that, as women, "every piece of media we consume from the second we are born is basically this idea of finding a partner that completes you and validates you," which makes the prospect of leaving seem even harder.
"I do think that was part of it, plus I had just had a child, so I really wanted to have that family, so it was especially hard for me to totally walk away," she said. "I had lines and I was very willing to whatever, but there were just certain things that I was just [totally against]. I've always been this way. I'm a very on-and-off person. I will literally sit with people that I love -- friends, family, whatever -- for so long and then if there's a line that's crossed I'm like, 'OK! That was it.' For me, it was so clear and then it just became clearer and clearer and clearer and clearer, which was good, which was clarifying."
While Ratajkowski wouldn't comment on the rumor that infidelity played a role in her split, she did react to fans being discouraged by the idea that even she, a successful model, could get cheated on.
"Duh, men are trash, ladies," she said. "It doesn't matter who you are or how perfect you are."
As for the advice she'd offer women who want to leave a relationship, Ratajkowski noted that they'll likely "be shocked how much easier life is" once they make the leap.
"I didn't understand that it was actually going to be so nice to come back to myself," she said, "[to] return back to how I see the world, how I understand things, my instincts."
Since her split, Ratajkowski is rumored to have dated Brad Pitt, DJ Orazio Rispo and Pete Davidson. Most recently, she was linked to Eric Andre, though she hinted last month that that particular "situationship" had come to an end.
RELATED CONTENT:
