The 'Umbrella Academy' star also talks about how coming out will affect his future acting roles.
Elliot Page is talking about how his life has changed since coming out as a transgender man in December, and how this will affect his future acting roles.
In a new interview for Vanity Fair, 34-year-old Page speaks to a trans journalist, Thomas Page McBee. The Juno star said that for the first time ever in his life, he's able to "just exist" and let go of constant anxiety.
"The most significant difference is that I'm really able to just exist," he says. "I would imagine you'll understand where I'm coming from -- just exist by myself, like be able to sit with myself. Not have some constant distraction, all these things that aren’t conscious or aren't even overly overt. For the first time in, I don't even know how long, [I am] really just being able to sit by myself, be on my own, be productive, and be creative."
"It's such an oversimplification to say it this way, but I'm comfortable," he continues. "I feel a significant difference in my ability to just exist -- and not even just day to day, but moment to moment. This is the first time I've even felt really present with people, that I can be just really relaxed and not have an anxiety that’s always pulling."
Page shared that even when he was young, he "absolutely, 100 percent" knew he was a boy.
"I knew I was a boy when I was a toddler," he says. "I was writing fake love letters and signing them 'Jason.' Every little aspect of my life, that is who I was, who I am, and who I knew myself to be. I just couldn't understand when I'd be told, 'No, you're not. No, you can't be that when you’re older.' You feel it. Now I’m finally getting myself back to feeling like who I am, and it's so beautiful and extraordinary, and there's a grief to it in a way."
Page said that creatively, he's been able to do more than ever these days like writing his first screenplay and making music with a friend. As for acting, he acknowledges that he's not quite sure yet about the future.
"I am just a lot more f**king comfortable and present, so it's hard to imagine that that's not affecting the work, because, really, being present's ultimately what you're going for -- you're just ultimately trying to crack open and be present and connect to the truth of a moment," he explains. "So I'm imagining the more I get to embody who I am and exist in the body I want to exist in, there'll be a difference."
The actor has been opening up about his own experience in order to help combat current anti-trans legislation, which includes bills that would limit health care and other rights for trans people. He recently sat down with Oprah Winfrey for her Apple TV+ series, The Oprah Conversation, and said he did it in order to speak out against anti-trans legislation. The episode debuts on Friday.
"It was something I needed to sit with for a moment, because the backlash right now is so intense," he said about deciding to sit down with Winfrey. "But the rhetoric coming from anti-trans activists and anti-LGBTQ activists -- it's devastating. These bills are going to be responsible for the death of children. It is that simple. So [talking to Oprah] felt like an opportunity to use a wide-reaching platform to speak from my heart about some of my experience and the resources I've been able to access -- whether therapy or surgery -- that have allowed me to be alive, to live my life."
"I don't want it to sound like, 'Look at me,'" he added. "It's not that at all. Actually, I was really nervous."
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