'She had faith and then that was it.'
Duane "Dog" Chapman is opening up about the loss of his wife, Beth Chapman.
Following Beth's death on Wednesday, Duane spoke to Hawaii News Now about her final moments. Beth died at age 51 after a battle with cancer.
"She did it her way. There's some things [I can't say], you know, I have a network and a contract, but there's some things that they predicted that the doctors ended up saying, 'We've never, ever seen anything like this,'" Duane said, referring to his WGN America reality show, Dog's Most Wanted, which is currently in production. "...She wanted to live so bad and she fought so long. And the reason she fought, she liked life, but she wanted to show people how to beat it and what to do when it got her."
"One of the last things she said [was], 'This is a test of my faith.' She had faith and then that was it," he continued. "... There's things you go through when you're dying, like steps. Like you do when you lose someone. You get mad at them and then you go through all these steps. Well, the last step when you're dying is to accept it. And she said to me the other day, 'Honey, that last step I ain't taking.' Go Bethy."
In her final moments, Duane held Beth as she was surrounded by her family.
"When she had an attack I didn't know anything to do but say, 'In Jesus name' and hold her. And when I said, 'In Jesus name,' she said, 'Say it again. Say it more,'" Duane recalled while getting choked up. "And then, you know, she told the girls and everybody with her mouth and stuff. She came out of it a couple of times [and said], 'I love you. Are you guys all OK? Don't worry.' But she never accepted it. So amazing. This is totally unbelievable."
Duane described the moments leading up to and since Beth's death as "terrible," adding that, despite Beth's long fight with cancer, the timing of her passing was unexpected.
"You kind of try to remember that you’re celebrating life, but right now we’re mourning the death, so it's not good," he said. "For a few years [we] knew that someday this day would come. And it came very unexpected, really fast."
"All of her clothes are exactly where they were, her makeup, everything. We didn’t prepare," he continued through emotion. "... It's just incredible when you walk alone in the bedroom and you're there and she was just there two days ago."
The 66-year-old reality star also spoke to his faith and his belief that Beth, who will be cremated, is still with him.
"I hope to God there's a god... I've trained myself [in], 'What would Jesus do?' And I hope I'm not just talking to myself. I hope there is a god and, if there is, I'm gonna see my honey again. And that's all we can do, is hope," he said through tears. "... The cancer gig, of course, we gotta find a cure. Because all we have now is some get lucky, but most pass away... So we need to do that."
"It's a hard fight. She fought hard," he continued. "... Beth was somewhat of a control person... So not from the grave, but from heaven, I'm sure she's still controlling me. And I got notes in my pillowcases, on my sink, in my shaving thing. I mean, you know, she's still telling me what to wear. I loved her so much. 'As Lazareth lay,' Jesus said, 'He's not dead, he's sleepeth.' My final words are Beth isn't dead, she sleepeth."
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