The influencer suffered the unimaginable loss of her infant son in July.
Travel writer Christine Tran Ferguson is getting candid about her grief in the wake of the tragic death of her 14-month-old son, Asher.
Christine took to Instagram on Wednesday and shared a heartbreaking and contemplative post about the loss of her and husband Ryan Ferguson's baby boy -- who died in July from an unspecified cause that led to him being treated in the ICU before his death.
"We should be preparing our trip to Italy next week. Instead I’m looking at these photos from our first family vacation almost exactly a year ago at 4 months old," Christine wrote, alongside a slideshow of family photos of herself and Ryan cuddling with baby Asher on a beach. "We had plans to show Asher where mommy and daddy got married in Positano and then explore Tuscany, a new area together as a family."
"I miss these memories, I miss you, I wanted new memories with you. I wish you are here with us every second of every day. It hurts so much, this pain will never go away! I never knew such pain could even exist!" she continued. "Our lives were perfect, normal… until it wasn’t 💔"
I can’t believe its been over a month since we last held you in our arms, kissed you, smelled you, hearing your little laugh, your little walk. I want it all back so badly!" she continued. "I’m forever heartbroken, forever changed. 14 months with you was not long enough. I thought I had forever, we had so many plans for the future and it’s just gone."
Christine continued, "I pray and pray we find the strength to carry you with us. Its so hard, incredibly hard. For now, we cherish these memories we had with you forever. Mommy & Daddy can’t wait to be with you again."
Christine first revealed in July that Asher had tragically died "after "fighting for his life in the ICU" earlier in the month.
"My heart is utterly broken and shattered into a million pieces," she wrote on July 20. "I will never understand why, nothing makes sense, I’m still in shock, I just want to wake up from this unimaginable nightmare and have you back in my arms."
Christine -- who founded the popular site Tour de Lust, where she shares her travel adventures and tips -- wrote in her post that they are still unsure what caused Asher’s death. "I just ask for privacy during this difficult time as we’re still in shock and still have no answers to this unbearable nightmare."
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