'The Woman in Me' is out now.
Britney Spears is opening up like never before. In her new memoir, The Woman in Me, the 41-year-old singer candidly writes about her childhood, career, high-profile romance with Justin Timberlake and her conservatorship.
What's not discussed is Britney's divorce from Sam Asghari, as that went down after The Woman in Me was already written. Despite the split, Sam told TMZ that he's read his now ex's memoir.
"I'm very proud of her," he said. "She put a lot of work to it, and it was very hard. I'm definitely excited and I'm extremely proud of her. It was a really tough one... I'll be the first one in line to buy it."
Britney is likewise thrilled about the release of her book, which is also going to be available in audiobook form with Michelle Williams serving as the narrator.
"[She's] feeling excited and relieved about releasing her book," a source told ET of Britney, with another source adding, "She feels like a huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders. She is looking forward to finally voicing her story in such a big way. She's not feeling nervous at all and she's actually very eager to get it out there."
Keep reading to see the biggest bombshells from The Woman in Me, which is out now.
Britney Claims She Drank With Her Mom in 8th Grade
In her memoir, Britney says that she and her mom, Lynne Spears, drank together starting when she was just a teenager.
"For fun, starting when I was in eighth grade, my mom and I would make the two-hour drive from Kentwood to Biloxi, Mississippi, and while we were there, we would drink daiquiris. We called our cocktails 'toddies,'" she writes, before referencing her father, Jamie Spears. "I loved that I was able to drink with my mom every now and then. The way we drank was nothing like how my father did it. When he drank, he grew more depressed and shut down. We became happier, more alive and adventurous."
Britney says that some of her "best times" were on those trips with her mom, noting that her drink of choice was often a White Russian. Then, by age 13, Britney was "drinking with my mom and smoking with my friends."
She Auditioned for The Notebook But Was OK When She Didn't Land the Role
When Britney was just 21, she auditioned for the role of Allie Hamilton in The Notebook, which ultimately went to Rachel McAdams. Britney's audition tape was recently uncovered, and though casting director Matthew Barry told The Daily Mail that the singer "was phenomenal" in her audition, Britney herself is glad she didn't land the role.
"That was pretty much the beginning and end of my acting career, and I was relieved," she writes of the 2002 film, Crossroads, in which she unintentionally found herself method acting in.
"The Notebook casting came down to me and Rachel McAdams, and even though it would have been fun to reconnect with Ryan Gosling after our time on Mickey Mouse Club, I'm glad I didn't do it," she writes. "If I had, instead of working on my album In the Zone I'd have been acting like a 1940s heiress day and night."
Britney Claims Justin Cheated on Her -- And Admits She Cheated on Him Too
Britney alleges in her memoir that Justin, her now ex-boyfriend, cheated on her during their relationship.
"There were a couple of times during our relationship when I knew Justin had cheated on me. Especially because I was so infatuated and so in love, I let it go, even though the tabloids seemed determined to rub my face in it," Britney writes, before mentioning two incidents in particular.
"When *NSYNC went to London in 2000, photographers caught him with one of the girls from All Saints in a car. But I never said anything. At the time we'd only been together for a year," she writes. "Another time, we were in Vegas, and one of my dancers was hanging out with him and told me he'd gestured toward a girl and said, 'Yeah, man, I hit that last night.' I don't want to say who he was talking about because she's actually very popular and she's married with kids now. I don't want her to feel bad."
Throughout their relationship, Britney claims that "there were rumors" about Justin "with various dancers and groupies."
ET previously reached out to Justin's rep for comment. As for how Justin feels about his ex's memoir, a source told ET that he's "happy at home with Jessica Biel and his kids," Silas, 8, and Phineas. The source added that Timberlake "is focusing on new music and is in such a great place."
"Justin has been focusing on his own family and trying not to concern himself with Britney’s memoir," another source said.
Britney admits that she herself cheated on Justin once, with her backup dancer, Wade Robson.
"We were out one night and we went to a Spanish bar. We danced and danced. I made out with him that night," she writes. "I was loyal to Justin for years, only had eyes for him with that one exception, which I admitted to him. That night was chalked up to something that will happen when you're young as we were, and Justin and moved past it and stayed together."
Britney Says She Had an At-Home Abortion With Justin's Baby
Britney claims in her book that she got pregnant during her relationship with Justin. While "it was a surprise" for the young couple, Britney didn't think it was "a tragedy." Justin, she claims, disagreed.
"Justin wasn't happy about the pregnancy," she writes. "He said we weren't ready to have a baby in our lives, that we were too young."
As such, Britney says she "agreed to not have the baby."
"Abortion was something I never could have imagined choosing for myself, but given the circumstances, that is what we did," she writes. "I don't know if that was the right decision. If it had been left up to me alone, I never would have done it. And yet Just was so sure that he didn't want to be a father."
Since "it was important that no one find out about the pregnancy or the abortion" Britney and Justin decided to do the procedure at home. That led to an "excruciating" experience for Britney, so much so that she was "lying on the floor, sobbing and screaming" while in "unbelievable" pain.
Justin comforted her through experience, laying on the floor with her and strumming his guitar.
ET previously reached out to Justin's rep for comment. A source told ET of Justin, "In recent years, Justin has tried to be supportive of Britney from a distance. They dated so long ago, but he still has respect for her. Justin and Jessica just want everyone to grow and evolve instead of continuing to bring up the past."
She Claims Justin Ended Their Three-Year Relationship Over Text
Britney claims in her memoir that Justin ultimately "ended our relationship by text message" while she was on a music video set.
"For as much as Justin hurt me, there was a huge foundation of love, and when he left me I was devastated," she writes. "When I say I was devastated, I mean I could barely speak for months. Whenever anyone asked me about him, all I could do was cry. I don’t know if I was clinically in shock, but it felt that way."
Afterward, Justin wrote "Cry Me a River," much to Britney's dismay, as it appeared to paint her as "a harlot who'd broken the heart of America's golden boy."
"The truth: I was comatose in Louisiana, and he was happily running around Hollywood," she writes. "... The thought of my betraying him gave the album more angst, gave it a purpose: s**t-talking an unfaithful woman... Everyone felt very sorry for him. And it shamed me."
She Had a Fling With Colin Farrell After Her and Justin Split
According to Britney, "Justin ended up sleeping with six or seven girls in the weeks after we officially broke up." As such, she decided to get out there too, specifically with Colin Farrell.
"I got in my car and I drove up to the set of his action movie, SWAT. Who did I think I was?" she writes. "... We wound up having a two-week brawl. Brawl is the only word for it -- we were all over each other, grappling so passionately it was like we were in a street fight."
During their brief romance, Britney and Colin stepped out for his premiere and she met his family, whom she described as "so warm."
"I wasn't over Justin yet," Britney writes. "But for a brief moment in time, I did think there could be something there."
Britney Addresses Her Iconic Kiss With Madonna
When Britney and Madonna first became acquainted, the latter woman "tried to mentor" the former one. Britney writes that she admired Madonna for her strength and her outspoken nature.
Then came their MTV VMAs performance in 2003. Though they did an air kiss each time they rehearsed their performance, during the actual performance, though, Britney decided to "just go for it" and kiss Madonna for real.
"A lot was made of that kiss. Oprah asked Madonna about it. The kiss was treated as a huge cultural moment -- 'Britney kissing Madonna!' -- and it got us both a lot of attention."
After that kiss, Britney and Madonna teamed up again, this time on the song "Me Against the Music," which they eventually shot a music video for.
"She demanded power, and so she got power. She was the center of attention because she made that the condition of her showing up anywhere. She made that life for herself," Britney writes of Madonna. "I hoped I could find ways to do that while preserving the parts of my nice-girl identity that I wanted to keep."
Britney Says She Was 'S**tfaced' When She Married Jason Alexander
During a 2004 trip to Las Vegas, Britney got married for the first time to her childhood friend, Jason Alexander.
"The third night we were there together, he and I got s**tfaced. I don't even remember that night at all, but from what I’ve pieced together, he and I lounged around the hotel room and stayed up late watching movies," she writes. "… Then had the brilliant idea of going to A Little White Chapel at three thirty in the morning."
Britney notes that she and Jason "were not in love," but rather "very drunk" and "very bored." Though Britney viewed the wedding as her "having fun," her parents "made way too big of a deal out of innocent fun."
Soon, Britney signed the documents to have the marriage annulled. The marriage lasted 55 hours.
Britney Says She Didn't Know Kevin Federline Was Expecting a Baby When They Started Dating
After meeting Kevin Federline at a club, Britney immediately felt "a connection" that allowed her to "escape everything that was hard in my life." That very first night, Britney writes that Kevin held her for hours.
"We want to feel safe and alive and sexy all at the same time. And that’s what Kevin did for me," she writes, noting that she had "no idea" that her new beau was a dad to a toddler with another baby on the way.
"I was clueless. I was living in a bubble, and I didn't have a lot of good, close friends to confide in and get advice from," she writes. "I had no idea until after we'd been together for a while and someone told me. 'You know he has a new baby, right?' I didn't believe it, but when I asked, he told me it was true. He told me he saw them once a month... I had no idea."
Even so, the couple stayed together and Kevin even accompanied her on tour. They got married in the fall of 2000. Britney went on to welcome Sean Preston in 2005 and Jayden James the following year. After their children came into the picture, Britney and Kevin "grew more and more estranged," she writes.
Britney Says She Shaved Her Head as a 'F**k You' to the World
With her marriage on the rocks and experiencing postpartum challenges, Britney was going through a difficult time.
"I now know that I was displaying just about every symptom of perinatal depression: sadness, anxiety, fatigue. Once the babies were born, I added on my confusion and obsession about the babies’ safety, which was ratcheting up the more media attention was on us," she writes. "Being a new mom is challenging enough without trying to do everything under a microscope. With Kevin away so much, no one was around to see me spiral -- except every paparazzo in America."
All in all, things were "unpleasant," largely because Britney "didn't know who" her husband was anymore.
"My lawyer told me that if I didn’t file for divorce, Kevin would. What I gathered from this was that Kevin wanted to file for divorce but he felt guilty doing it," she writes. "He knew that it would make him look better publicly if I was the one who filed. My lawyer told me that Kevin was going to file for divorce no matter what."
Britney did end up filing for divorce, and a custody battle over their sons ensued. Britney claims that Kevin tried to convince the court she was out of control and would keep the children away from her for weeks. After one such alleged incident, Britney decided to give the paparazzi "some material."
"I went into a hair salon, and I took the clippers, and I shaved off all my hair," she writes. "Everyone thought it was hilarious. Look how crazy she is! Even my parents acted embarrassed by me. But nobody seemed to understand that I was simply out of my mind with grief... Shaving my head was a way of saying to the world: F**k you. You want me to be pretty for you? F**k you. You want me to be good for you? F**k you. You want me to be your dream girl? F**k you."
A few days later, Britney "snapped" when the paparazzi spotted her in front of Kevin's home.
"I grabbed the only thing within reach, a green umbrella, and jumped out of the car," she writes. "I wasn’t going to hit him, because even at my worst, I am not that kind of person. I hit the next closest thing, which was his car."
Britney Was Aware of the #FreeBritney Movement
The following year, Britney's father asked the court to grant him temporary conservatorship of her. Britney writes that she'd rather have had anyone else in charge than her father, and also recounts issues with her mother at the time.
"People don’t know why I have such anger towards my parents," she writes. "But I think if they were in my shoes, they would understand."
Jamie, Britney claims, controlled many aspects of her life, including her career, which led to her to her Britney Spears: Piece of Me Vegas residency.
By 2014, Britney decided to try and get out of her conservatorship but was unsuccessful. Shortly thereafter, Britney says she was sent to a mental health facility and was "locked up against my will for months." Jamie has denied many of Britney's allegations against him.
All the while, Britney's fans were fighting for her.
"It was all over the news... I think my connection to my fans helped them subconsciously know that I was in danger. We have a connection, no matter where we are in space," she writes. "Even if you're on the other side of the country or the world, on some level we're bound up together. Fans of mine -- even though I hadn't said anything online or in the press about being confined -- they just seemed to know."
"I don't think people knew how much the #FreeBritney movement meant to me, especially in the beginning. Toward the end, when the court hearings were going on, seeing people advocating for me meant a whole lot. But when it first happened, that got my heart, because I was not OK, not at all," Britney continues. "And the fact that my friends and my fans sensed what was happening and did all that for me, that's a debt I can never repay."
Britney's conservatorship was terminated in 2021, and now she's focused on embracing her freedom.
"I've been through so much since I wandered the Louisiana woods as a child," Britney writes. "I've made music, traveled all over the world, become a mother, found love and lost it and found it again. It's been a while since I felt truly present in my own life, in my own power, in my womanhood. But I'm here now."
The Women in Me is out now.
RELATED CONTENT:
