'Some people have insensitive reactions.'
Ali Wong is opening up about discussing her miscarriage during her standup routine.
The 37-year-old comedian covers the November issue of Health, and, though she says "no topic is off limits" during her comedy routines -- and adds that she wasn't scared about opening up about her miscarriage on stage -- she did have one concern about including her miscarriage in her set.
"I remember hoping my husband’s parents wouldn’t be disappointed. It was this intrinsic concern. I didn’t want them to feel like their son married a bad seed," she says. "And they didn’t feel that way; they were very supportive."
"There was nothing that would indicate that they would ever think that way, but that’s where my mind immediately went," she adds.
As for the miscarriage itself, Wong -- who shares daughters Mari, 3, and Nikki, 1, with her husband, Justin Hakuta -- reveals that she "didn’t realize miscarrying was a thing that could happen."
"That’s why I told everybody [about the pregnancy]. I told the lady who cleans my house, and when she found out I was seven weeks along, she told me I shouldn’t be telling people," she says. "Now I know why. It’s because then you have to tell everyone the bad news."
"Some people have insensitive reactions," she continues. "Like, they will ask if it’s because you had sushi or you were performing too much. They want to point to some cause and don’t realize how bad that makes you feel."
Another outcome of her pregnancies came with the change of her body, which left her with a scar from her two C-sections. Though the scar, which she says "looks like a finger," did initially upset her, she has come to accept it as part of who she is.
"My belly is a little lopsided over my scar. I have a keloid thing that runs in my family," she says. "... [The scar] bummed me out for a while, until one day, I was like, 'It is what it is. I got two beautiful girls out of it.'"
"I’d like to say it’s a celebration of my body, but if I am being truthful, it’s not -- it’s just that it doesn’t bum me out anymore," she adds.
In addition to speaking out about her miscarriage, Wong is also open about her business as a mom to her two daughters, something she chooses to discuss because not doing so would be "so unfair."
"Especially when some of these moms look so hot. J.Lo had twins; she’s 50 now, what the f**k?! It’s like, 'B**ch, spill the beans! Tell us the secret or let us know it’s not possible without resources,'" she explains. "My girlfriends keep me grounded. They are real people who are working 60-hour weeks... They work their a**es off. So I want to be honest about how I am able to do everything I do."
As well as raising their kids together, Wong and Hakuta also actively work on their relationship, something that is sometimes challenged due to Wong's fame.
"It’s definitely weird," she admits. "I’m very open about the fact that we go to therapy. We talk a lot about the transitions that we go through as a couple. He is so happy for me, but this lifestyle is not what he expected."
The pair worked to "figure certain things out," though, and compromised on their expectations for each other.
"He’s not an event person. So we decided that he’s not going to come to any more events -- it’s just not how he wants to spend his time. I get it," she says. "I think in some ways it’s easier for women because it’s fun to get a dress. When you have a successful man, [going to events] can be his wife’s whole life, and she will jujitsu that s**t into being a lifestyle blogger. All the power to those women!"
Watch the video below for more on Wong.
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