Debbie gets candid on her relationship with Oussama, who's 43 years younger, as well as comparisons to '90 Day Fiancé' icon Angela.
90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way newcomer Debbie has quickly become a standout cast member this season due to her unconventional relationship with Oussama, who's 43 years younger than her. ET's Melicia Johnson recently sat down with 67-year-old Debbie, who got candid about the criticism she's received for dating 24-year-old Oussama from Morocco, and why she's sure she's not being taken advantage of.
Nobody is more concerned than Debbie's kids about her relationship with Oussama, most vocally her son Julian, who hasn't been shy about not supporting her decision to move to Morocco from Georgia. Debbie, who first connected with Oussama on social media about their mutual love for art, insisted to ET that Oussama isn't being deceptive with her in any way.
"I didn't even know what a real catfish was because it's like to me, it's hard to put on the mental thinking cap of using someone because I wouldn't do that, so it was hard for me to relate to that concept, but yeah, I realized there's stuff going on where people are doing mean things to other people but I said oh no, a man with this intelligence and knowledge of art and poetry, he couldn't be, like, catfishing me," she says.
Debbie has had two failed marriages in the past. But she insisted she's been "careful" this time with Oussama -- whom she's been talking to for over four years -- though acknowledged she's a "very loyal person" and "very trusting."
"I said to myself, you know, no one's gonna pull anything shady on me anymore," she says. "I've had enough shady stuff done to me my whole life so I said Oussama he's gonna be that that prince, that prince charming, and I'm going to help him and he's going to help me and it's like, my son doesn't get that but I do and you know, yeah, I'm older. I get that that. It's like this is something other than just age, you know? This is something important to the intrinsic nature of a human being to survive and to flourish."
Debbie said the two actually have a lot in common. She shared that she fell for him when he started sending her music and love songs.
"That's when it really pulled at my heart strings and I said to myself, 'At last my love has come along,' and it was it was a music I just wanted to go toward and he would feed me these songs and emotions and it was like, something so special and I will always treasure the things he sent me and art and it's like there was something super special about Oussama," she says.
"I felt at home with Oussama because I knew from how he spoke to me and his dark side that he had suffered through some depression and possibly some bullying or something and I wanted to lift him up because I could relate to that," she also shares. "You know, I self-isolated myself and I put myself in an exile, a self-imposed exile, because the world was too hurtful and to painful to deal with and then I found that in Oussama too. So I said, well gee whiz let me kinda like help him out of it and let him see that there is lightness because he did tend to get dark sometimes but then he got way better and he even said that, you know, I brought light into his life."
She said Oussama got her out of a lonely place.
"Every person is sometimes starving for that empathy," she says. "Oussama offered some empathy and kindness and love that I wasn't finding in my community and that's sad to say and that's why right now, I want to do more with people that struggle with depression or have a mental illness and anxiety. I mean, people are stressed out and we need someone to throw us a lifesaver."
As for some fans concerned that Oussama said in a recent episode that he has a "madness" inside of him, Debbie explained why she isn't.
"Yes, he has often mentioned that he has some kind of madness and then even tells me, 'Debbie you have madness,' and it became kind of a catch phrase but I understood him to be kind of like the lone wolf in his community and he didn't have what we have -- avenues to explore your talents and some place to go and talk to people," she notes. "They don't have therapy over there and if they did, you'd probably be run out of town for trying to get therapy but I'm all about supporting artists and people that have been hurt and stepped on by society. ... People can be very vicious and it's like, I wanted to Oussama to bloom as a person because he had been down."
Debbie also dished on the type of relationship they have. She said that Oussama has tried to get intimate with her.
"You know, he's a red-blooded man," she says. "It's like, he's tried but when I say no, guess what? He respects me and then he's very romantic. He does all the right things and he's just wonderful, the most romantic guy I've ever been with in my life and plus he's a gentleman. You know most guys, it's all about grabbing and whatever ... it's like yeah Oussama has his moments, but he knows when no means no and then he goes back to being the gentleman."
Debbie shared with ET that she is still adjusting to all the attention she's received for being on 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way, including the negative comments.
"It's like having to carry a heavy load when there is negativity too and it's hurtful and sometimes I catch myself kind of getting depressed over some of the remarks and then I just suck it up and say, 'Well, Debbie, remember if this can help one person, it's worth it,'" she says. "And that's why I continue on and continue on my dream it's like, you know there's a reason for this and I think that people that are mean they maybe they don't know how cruel they are being and I forgive them because it's from the superficial first glance at me and Oussama. Yeah it might look like, 'Oh she's a pervert, oh she's a latch, oh she's a cougar, oh she's a granny cougar,' you know, I've heard it all and it's like, you know, I'm just Miss Debbie, I'm a kind person. I'm not looking for any young man. I'd like to have an old man but guess what? There's no old man out there, they're either dead or they're married you know my pool for finding a nice man is very small. Actually, it's a little mud puddle, it's not even a pool."
She later addressed comparisons she's getting with legendary 90 Day Fiancé cast member Angela, whose many ups and downs with her much younger husband, Michael from Nigeria, have been documented on the show. Debbie doesn't see it.
"You know, it's strange when they compare me to her because I consider myself ... it's not that I'm an elitist, it's just that I just have much more high ideals," she says. "I'm not interested in somebody if they can, you know, give me good sex and that's all. I'm all about ideas and goals and plans to elevate ourselves and humanity and I think she's not that way. But who's to say, I hope she becomes that way but it's like, I think she's so distracted about instant pleasure you know? Pleasure doesn't come instantaneously, it takes time. You build up on it and you make something, you make something you can be proud of and hold your head up high. I think maybe Angela is still learning that."
As for what's to come this season on 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way, she addressed Oussama telling cameras in the most recent episode that he actually wasn't ready to marry her and hadn't told her that. But she revealed there's more to it than him backing out of marrying her.
"The thing is with Oussama, he was in a hurry to marry me the second time I went to Morocco," she reveals. "We even went to the U.S. embassy in Casablanca to fill out the paperwork because it's a lot of paperwork over there if you want to marry somebody. And he waited patiently while I was in the embassy and then this time he wants to, like, slow down it's like, 'Hey, well what happened?' And then I started to feel bad. I said, well maybe I gained 20 pounds, maybe he thinks I look fat, and then I started thinking, well, did I do something wrong? I said, I thought you knew all my intentions were noble-minded and then I said to myself, maybe he's got a young girlfriend and if he does I'll let you go in a heartbeat. I want you to be happy."
"I’m not some lecherous old lady looking to sink my claws into him. I want you to be happy and good in life, that's all I want," she continues. "And yeah, if you're my husband, we could accomplish a lot together but it's like, if not, if I'm not your cup of tea then, hey, I'm not going to force you."
90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on TLC.
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