No. 11: Cuddle sessions with Meredith and Olivia Benson.
Guess who is going to be a Godmother? (TAYLOR SWIFT)
We know as much because Taylor Instagramed these pictures with her friend, Jaime King, who is pregnant with her second child with Kyle Newman, and added this caption: “Guess who just got named Godmother of this little one..... (ME)”
(Doesn’t it kind of look like Taylor was the one who got Jaime pregnant?)
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Anyway, a godmother’s duties are numerous, and sure, Taylor will be good at the spiritual guiding the being shoulder to lean on, but also SWAG!!! Here are 17 perks of having Taylor as your godmother:
1. Free concert tickets for life.
Obviously. If there’s a Taylor Swift tour, you will be in the front row. Or watching from backstage. Or in one of those skyboxes with free chicken tenders. Whatever! Your pick!
2. She’ll write a song about you. Probably? Right?
3. You are born with an automatic fan base.
Anyone connected to Taylor has fans. Her mom has fans. Her little brother has fans. Her publicist, Tree Paine, has entire fan sites dedicated to her and fans tracking her every tweet. As her godchild, you will have a following. You will have power over the Swifties.
4. You will receive the best hand-me-downs ever.
And once you’re old enough, she’ll probably let you raid her closet whenever you want. This is probably less of a perk if the baby ends up being a boy, but hey. Make some quick cash on Etsy.
5. She will give you priceless relationship advice.
Taylor made the mistakes so you don’t have to.
6. And custom breakup playlists if it still doesn’t work out.
(Just like she did for this fan.)
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7. You’ll get to be her dance partner at some award show or another, eventually. And your dance moves together will forever be enshrined in a GIF.
8. You’ll get an invite to Taylor Swift’s birthday party and get to meet people like Justin Timberlake! And Sam Smith! AND BEYONCÉ!
The only other way you’re going to meet Beyoncé is if you are Beyoncé’s goddaughter. And unless you, the reader of this post, is an offspring of Kelly Rowland or Solange, that is not likely.
9. You will receive thoughtful and craft presents all year round.
Your birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Arbor Day, Casimir Pulaski Day, just a random day she was just thinking about you.
10. And free tuition to any college of your choosing.
If she paid off part of a fan’s student loans, she probably won’t make her own (not) flesh and (not) blood (god) child fill go through FAFSA.
11. You’ll get to have cuddle sessions with Olivia and Meredith.
12. And you’ll get to meet every Angel that’s ever donned a pair of Victoria’s Secret wings. How you choose to utilize this perk is up to you.
WATCH: T.Swift shows off her best jumbotron dance moves with Fallon
13. You’ll probably get set up on a blind date with the child of whatever One Directioner has a baby first.
14. You’ll never get sick of godmother Taylor’s wonderful baking.
15. You’ll get a proper schooling in Feminism 101. Take notes, you will be quizzed on this later.
16. And you can ask her any question you want: Like, what did you and Sarah Palin possibly have to talk about at that SNL thing? How do you really feel about Kanye West? And what really went down between you and Katy Perry?
17. But best of all, she might tell you all her SECRETS.
Like who every song is about. And who she has and has not dated. And there is no currency more valuable than Taylor Swift’s secrets. But you wouldn’t sell her out -- she’s family! -- it’s just good to know.
Here are all the other most talked about musicians on Tumblr this week:
Now, find out why Taylor says she will never, ever talk about Katy Perry again: