The 'Love So Soft' singer admits she was very unhappy from dealing with the pressure to be 'really skinny.'
Kelly Clarkson is opening up about one of her darkest moments in the spotlight.
In a new interview with Attitude magazine's Awards Issue, the 35-year-old singer reflects on the time when she was "really skinny" -- and why it made her so unhappy.
Back in 2002, Clarkson rose to fame after winning the first season of American Idol. And although it seemed as if she had everything going for her, she felt pressured by Hollywood executives to look a certain way in order to continue her journey in the music industry.
"When I was really skinny, I wanted to kill myself," she admits. "I was miserable, like inside and out, for four years of my life. But no one cared, because aesthetically you make sense."
"It was a very dark time for me," she continues. "I thought the only way out was quitting. I like wrecked my knees and my feet because all I would do is put in headphones and run. I was at the gym all the time."
After years of feeling unhappy, Clarkson knew it was time to make a change.
"There’s a song on My December called 'Sober,'" she explains. "There's this line, 'Picked the weeds but kept the flowers' and I just live my life by that because you are who you surround yourself with."
"I was around some really negative people, and I got out of it because I had a lot of great people there, too," she adds. "It was a case of turning around, facing them and walking toward the light."
Now, Clarkson is seemingly happier than ever. She married Brandon Blackstock in 2013, and is the mother of two adorable children -- daughter River Rose, 3, and son Remington, 1.
While chatting with ET last month, Clarkson revealed her husband actually inspired her new music.
"He makes me feel so sexy," she gushed. "I already am a confident woman -- I don't think that's a secret. But I love being with somebody who is unafraid of making you feel sexy."
"I always make fun of him, like, 'Why are you touching my behind in public?'" she added. "He'll like, goose me or something, somewhere, and I'm like, 'What are you doing?!' but I really like it."
Hear more in the video below!
